The Continuous Vicious Cycle
by SiriuslyCrazyMav
Summary: The definition of madness is doing something over and over again- and expecting a different result. As Sirius Black and Julia Monroe find out, by this definition, life itself is an endless vicious cycle- where only love can break the chains of madness. Sirius Black/OC- with a twist!
1. Chapter 1

Prologue: The Vicious Cycle

Oct. 30, '81

"Sirius? Baby, you home?" Julia Monroe called as she entered the London flat she shared with her beloved, their 21-month-old daughter lounging comfortably in her arms.

"Yeah Jules, I'm in the shower," she heard him call in his sexy, smoky voice as she set down her squirming daughter in her playpen along with the pile of files she'd been carrying. In the process of walking to the bathroom to him, she discarded her shoes and took off her coat, leaving a trail as she shed her clothes. By the time she got to the bathroom, she was only in her underwear.

"Hey," she grinned, standing in the door jam of their bathroom.

Sirius, being Sirius, hadn't closed the bathroom door nor seen any cause to draw the shower curtains. He stood there, under the showerhead in his naked glory, his long black hair plastered to his wet back as he arced back so the water hit the center of his chest. "Hey," he said, sighing and closing his eyes at the ministrations of the steaming water, "did you just get back?"

"Yes," she answered, watching him with pleasure, knowing just from looking at him that he'd had a rough day, "Moody had me go talk to this woman in Warwickshire about a possible sighting then I had to pick up Lacy from Lily's."

"Warwickshire total crock of bull?" he asked, now turning so the water hit the back of his neck.

"No actually, I think she really saw a few Death Eaters roaming around," she told him, and couldn't resist asking, "bad day, ha?"

He opened his eyes to look at her with a sly smile, "you know me too well."

"Want a back rub?" she said with a sly smile of her own.

"Want to get in the shower with me?" he countered, eyeing her underwear clad body, "you're already half naked."

She grinned but shook her head, "I wish, I _really _wish I could but I promised Moody I'd get the report done by tomorrow and I have to feed Lacy."

"I'm sure Lily already fed her. 15 minutes Jules. Jump into the shower with me and then you can write the report and I'll feed, and bathe and change Lacy," he said, his smile and eyes so tempting, so sinful. More likely it was the male version of Eve's smile when she enticed him to eat the apple. "C'mon Julia," he said smoothly, his electric gray-blue eyes gleaming enticingly.

Julia shook her head, as hard as resistance was, biting her bottom lip when he resorted to extortion by putting his hands _all _over his incredible body. But seeing her resolve, he gave up first, "fine then, but you owe me a kiss and a massage."

"My pleasure," she smiled and walked into the bathroom, reaching for him for one of their nuclear kisses. Tongues playing, sensually rubbing against each other, breaths catching, teeth nipping as undaunted, unquestioned pleasured fill up both their minds.

"Damn you taste good," he murmured, still holding the bar of soap against his massive, muscular chest, "I can never get enough of you," he said, still staring at her lips like he couldn't look away.

She couldn't not kiss him and did so, her hand in his long wet hair, moaning slightly as the world disappeared again and there was only Sirius. He appropriately became her entire world now, nothing else existed anymore. The reports she had waiting to be written on her desk, the constant worry of the war, worry for her friends, worry for the world, they all disappeared as Sirius licked inside her mouth boldly. Dropping the bar of soap, Sirius turned fully towards her in the stall, his wet chest pressing against her breasts.

Breathless, completely enchanted, she forced herself to pull back, licking her own lips, loving his lingering taste, "God, you're so distracting Sirius," she laughed weakly.

He grinned lazily, his eyes heavy-lidded, sexy as hell, "thank you, love," he smiled, deftly kissing her lips again, "I love you," he muttered against her lips.

""I love you too," she said, kissed him again and forced herself to turn away,. "Come here baby," she said walking into the living room and picked up her baby girl again and headed to their bedroom where she put Lacy on the bed. Her daughter immediately started talking in her own special language, kicking and giggling at whatever her mind conjured up.

For a second, she looked around their messy bedroom, smiling despite the mess. Their bed was unmade, the sheets rumpled on one side, completely off on the other. There were clothes strewn everywhere, Muggle and Ministry robes had both suffered the same fate. It seemed only Lacy's nursery was in decent shape these days, but a few of her toys could seen strewn about the house. But neither of them had time to pick up their clothes, and it wasn't just a clever excuse either. The war and their participation in the resistance against the war was taking up all their free time. It was very rare for Sirius and Julia to come home and be able to actually have ten minutes together before they had to rush off again. They barely got time to spend with their precious daughter these days.

Julia sat heavily on her side of the bed, furthest from the window, and put her head in her hands, exhausted beyond belief. Every bone in her body seemed to be aching, and there seemed to be a huge vein popping from her forehead all the way to her spine, all the muscles around the vein were rock hard, in need of a good massage. But exhaustion wasn't her only problem. How long had it been seen she and Sirius had had sex? And not a quickie either like they were so used to, but slow, connecting love-making for hours and hours and hours in their bed like before the war.

She cursed, pulling on an old spaghetti strap shirt and jeans as she stood up, picking up her daughter again and headed for the kitchen. She'd feed and put Lacy to sleep, then she'd conquer the paperwork waiting for her. McGonagall had forgotten to mention how much paperwork there was involved in being an Auror when they'd been discussing careers, and she needed to kick her father and godfather's butts, both of whom were Auror's, because they'd forgotten to mention it to her too. But she needed to write reports about the investigation she'd led into the mansion of a potential Death Eater, so that her boss, Mad-Eye Moody, could look it all over in his spare time.

She grabbed a bottle of ice-cold butterbear from the fridge as she started mixing her daughter's dinner. Lacy looked up at her from her high chair, banging her spoon happily against the little table in front of her. She had her fathers best features, the blue-gray eyes, but Julia's light hair and with would become a killer bone structure once she started to really grow up. She was such a incredible baby, and everything she did seemed to be better then what any baby could do. Despite the fact that they were almost never home, that Lacy spent most of her time with Lily and Harry, Lacy was the apple of her parent's eyes, the reason they were still alive and fighting today.

After feeding the baby, which resulted in both mother and daughter to be quite messy, it was time for Lacy to be put to sleep in her crib. "I want to," Sirius said a little childishly, laughing happily as he watched Lacy vault over to him from Julia's arms.

"Well, fine then," Julia smiled, watching in delight as Sirius tickled and kissed their daughter mercilessly, the perfect father with nothing on but unbuttoned jeans.

"Say good-night to mama baby," Sirius said, making Lacy lean toward Julia in his arms, but all Lacy say was "mamma mama" with a grin, her new teeth showing brightly in her beautiful smile as her father led her into the nursery.

She headed towards the room she and Sirius had turned into a sort of office for themselves. There, she opened one of the files she'd brought home with her and began scribbling down everything she remembered from the investigation.

From where she was sitting, she had a perfect view of the nursery, and her heart damn near exploded as she watched Sirius and Lacy. Her head was nestled against his chest, her eyes drifting close, her little fist in front of her mouth, her cheek as soft as lace against Sirius's skin. And his head was bent towards her ear as he slowly walked her around the room, no doubt crooning something to her. The contrast between Lacy's light skin and her father's tanned skin was a beautiful sight, the sight something Julia would cherish for the rest of her life. The two people she loved most in the entire world, loved more then everyone and everything else. They were her everything and the mere thought of some day, because of some horrible incident, they would be separated, she felt sick to her stomach.

"Done yet?" Sirius asked, walking into the office about twenty minutes later, the nursery door not quite closed behind him.

"Are you kidding? This is going to take a few hours," she sighed, sitting back in her chair, managing to crack her spine on the process. She grimaced as her bones rearranged themselves out of discomfort, and every single muscle in her shoulders and neck were strained and hurting beyond belief.

"You look like you could use a break…from life," Sirius commented coming to stand beside her, still squeezing out excess water from his hair and into the red towel.

"I could," she said, looking up at her beautiful man, happy and content with the fact that he was hers forevermore, "war is not for the vain," she sighed and picked up her quill again, nearly done with two reports.

Wordlessly, she felt him put his large, warm, callused hands on her shoulders and began to rub the tension out meticulously, expertly making her head loll back and a soft groan ensue from her lips.

"I thought I'm the one who supposed to be doing the rubbing Sirius," she said softly.

"Oh well," he smiled, sliding his hands down her torso as he bent down closer to her mouth. As his hands started massaging her breasts slowly and lovingly as he kissed her, his wet hair cocooning their faces as their tongues and hearts fused.

"BLACK! MONROE!" they heard Moody's familiar growled shout coming from the fireplace in the living room and Lacy's cries rose from the nursery, no doubt startled by Moody's gruff voice.

"Is he kidding?" Sirius asked with a groan, surrendering and jogging to Lacy as Julia headed towards Mad-Eye's voice.

"What's up?" she asked her boss's floating head.

"There's a situation in Warwickshire, move yer arses," he said, disappearing from the fire as Sirius slid into the room, a red faced Lacy in his arms.

"Where?" he asked, so used were they to war that he didn't even need her to tell him.

"Warwickshire," she answered, looking deep into his eyes, serious and getting ready for battle. She would take Lacy to Headquarters then join Sirius and the others in battle, "if you don't come back to us in one piece, I'll kick your ass."

"Same to you," he said before they both Dissaparated.

Arriving in Warwickshire, Julia didn't need to search the area for neither the Order or the battle. The night sky was illuminated by the spells that were being cast all over the village, turning the sky above into day time. Explosions, curses and shouts could be heard, and Julia didn't waste any time before starting curse the masked figures that threatened so much.

She found Sirius and James standing back to back, fighting as they had always done, turning into a square as Julie and Remus Lupin joined them. The four stood back to back, a united front against all the evil in the world, willing to do anything to keep the other safe.

"Where's Lily? I don't see her!" Julia said in alarm, "STUPEFY! You fucker," she added as she knocked out a surprisingly huge Death Eater.

"She's pulling hospital duty at HQ, IMPIDEMENTA!" James answered, "She and Hestia are pulling babysitting duty, didn't you see her? OY!" he yelled, ducking just in time to miss a Killing Curse that caused fire to erupt from the tree stump it hit.

"I handed Lacy to Hestia at the door," Julia told him, sending a Reducto towards an unsuspecting Death Eater.

"I HATE THIS FUCKING SHIT!" Sirius yelled over the noise of the night, one eye on the Death Eaters that were approaching him and one eye on Julia, praying the entire time.

Half an hour later, with four apprehended Death Eaters, the battle was over. The Order had lost none, the Aurors had one death and about 5 injuries, including a deep gash on Sirius's chest that refused to stop bleeding.

"I'm ok Jules," he said, covering the wound with his hand, his other holding his wand as he and his three friends landed in front of Order Headquarters.

"You're soaked with blood Sirius!" she said, a few minor cuts and bruises marring her face. But she didn't seem to notice the tiny stings they caused in her face, too horrified by the slash on his torso that ranged from his shoulder and across to below his opposite peck. And though he'd refused to stop fight, the wound was just as stubborn so that his t-shirt was completely soaked with blood on the front.

Lily jumped on top of James the second they walked into headquarters, obviously worried about her husband. And James didn't seem to mind her death grip, instead, burying his face in her red hair while Julia dragged Sirius to the Order's other Healer, Hestia Jones. She found Lacy playing with Harry and Neville Longbottom, but she didn't go to her, not wanting to scare her with all the blood on her.

She went back to the room they were using as a hospital room and watched Hestia and Lily heal everyone's wounds. But even after Hestia told her, assured her that the cut, despite its deepness, was nothing that wouldn't heal in a jiffy, Julia was shaking inside and out. She knew she'd lost all the color in her face, throwing herself into one of the easy chairs in the sitting room, at least five rooms away from the living room that was being used as a medical wing for the injured Order members.

She was shacking when Lily quietly came into the room, "want me to look at those cuts?"

Julia started and looked around at her best friend, "what? Oh, no, thanks," she said hastily.

"You sure?" Lily asked sitting in front of Julia on the coffee table, her eyes growing in alarm, "oh my God! Why are you shacking so hard?"

"Shock," she muttered.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, taking hold of Julia's cold hands, "what? Sirius's cut?" When she didn't respond, Lily pulled her in for a hug, "oh Julia, he's fine! He's in the kitchen being an idiot with James, the cuts almost completely gone away!"

Julia pulled back suddenly, "almost? What do you mean, almost?"

"Julia, relax. There's slight scarring, it was a magical cut, but it's barely noticeable," Lily said hastily, "honey, you've seen him get hit worse then that! You usually laugh it off, what happened today?"

Julia lost all her control. All she saw was the green jet of light missing him by a fraction, reliving the wild fear that she'd felt at the prospect that she'd never kiss him, make love to him, see him smile, making that bark-like sound when he laughed. And she began to weep in Lily's arms, horrified at the mere idea of someday maybe losing him.

"Hey! Evens, we need you to make us some foo--" Sirius's request for Lily's cooking stopped halfway through when he walked into the sitting room. "Julia? What's wrong?" he asked his voice full of alarm and concern as he came to kneel next to the hugging friend.

Julia hiccupped once as Lily pulled back, tears freely falling down. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck, her shoulders shacking as she let it all out. Lily gave them a lingering concerned glance before going to find her husband.

"Shh," he soothed, moving to kneel between her open thighs, rubbing her back, terrified about what was making her so upset. "Julia, come on, stop crying sweet, tell me what's bugging you. Shhh, come on. You're breaking my heart here Jules."

"I'm so scared Sirius," she said into his neck as she finally got her sobs under control, "I thought you were going to die today. And I can't seem to grasp the idea that you're still ok."

"You got jolted, that's all," he soothed her, kissing the exposed curve of her shoulder, "I'm ok, see? As good as knew."

She laughed into his shoulder and her tears soon stopped. She pulled back to look at him, sighing when he brushed her shocking red hair back from her face, "I want this war to end, Sirius. I can't take it anymore. And this hole Secret Keeper thing…God, I'm so terrified!"

He nodded, "it seems to be getting worse by the day isn't it?" he sighed, looking jagged and battle worn.

She didn't say anything for a few minutes, just looked into his gray-blue eyes with her own luminous ones, "today, when I saw that killing curse heading your way…I thought Lacy and I lost you," she said with a sob, then stopped herself and her tears from flowing in record time.

"But I'm ok. I'm sitting right here Jules, see?" he asked, deftly kissing her to prove his point, "I'm fine."

"But the wars not over Sirius, and tomorrow may be a battle where…where you don't come back to me…Then what am I supposed to do?" she asked imploringly, begging him silently to promise to never again get hurt, "I don't think I can live without you."

"Babe, since the same goes for me, how 'bout we strike a deal? Hmm?" he prodded, burying his face in her neck, licking and kissing the soft skin there, "let's both of us promise not to get killed."

"Sirius," she groaned miserably, pushing him back, knowing she was scaring him with her vulnerability, "you're too careless in the battlefield. You're too bold," she said and her shoulders started shacking again, "I need you to promise me you'll be ok. That you won't let yourself get carried away during battle because that will be your downfall. You need to realize that you're living for Lacy too, and for me." She bulldozed over him when he was about to interrupt, "if Remus hadn't seen that Death Eater send the Killing Curse your way Sirius…where would we be now?"

His handsome face grew somber, running a hand through his hair, clenching his jaw, aware that she was right. He did get carried away on the battlefield sometimes, sure that he was immortal, when in fact, he was more mortal then anyone around him. And he had two precious ladies who were terrified for him, scared to death at the mere prospect of losing him someday.

"Alright, I promise to be more careful," he said before kissing her, licking the inside of her mouth with lazy stroked that made both of them catch fire in an instant.

He was still kissing her when he felt her pulling up shirt, he broke their kiss with a laugh at her audacity, turned on beyond belief, "Jules, anyone can walk in!" he said, but she was intent upon lifting up his shirt.

But her reasons weren't one bit carnal. He watched with an aching heart when her lips quivered, tracing his new scar with a light fingertip, giving him Goosebumps of pleasure. "Just a scar," he assured her, "nothing more then a scratch. I promise."

"At this rate, we'll both look like Mad-Eye in a year," she said, totally straight-faced, leaning her head to kiss his knew scar.

"Ahh Julia," he moaned, his fingers running through her short hair as she ran kisses along the scared skin, his pleasure ending when he felt a tear drop on his chest. "Ahh Julia," he moaned again, but not in pleasure this time.

"Let's go eat something before James finishes it all," Julia said, standing up and pulling him up with her, leading him silently into the kitchen of the mansion the Order used as their Headquarters. Everyone had a tendency of staying behind and migrating into the kitchen after each of the meetings.

There was James and Lily with Harry, Remus, Kat, and Peter of course, Frank and Alice Longbottom with their baby, Emmeline Vance, Kinsley Shackelbolt, Elphias Doge and his wife, and surprisingly, Professor McGonagall, who was holding Lacy, and Dumbledore, with his brother, Aberforth. They were all sporting some sort of scratch or wound, except Hestia and Lily who'd stayed behind.

As they entered the modified kitchen, everyone greeted them with a smile and went back to their conversation. McGonagall's eyes remained on Julia, her one and only niece, and she seemed to visually make sure Julia was ok then went back to her conversation with Mrs. Doge. Lily, however, came over to her and smiled tentatively, "you alright?"

Julia smiled with a nod, giving Sirius a surreptitious smile, "thanks Lils, I'm fine."

"Alright," she said, unconvinced, her emerald colored eyes running over Julia's battered face, "let me clean up those wounds."

When Lily was done, Julia had a brand new scar of her own that ran adjacent to her eyebrow. Since the wound had been the result of a half-hearted cutting curse, it wouldn't completely go away, like the slash in Sirius's chest.

Needing a beautiful distraction and since Sirius had Lacy in his arms, Julia picked up her godson, and started playing with him, making him giggle by tickling him and blowing raspberries against his soft tummy. He tried to stop her by pulling on her hair with his tiny fists, but she untangled her hair just in time and resumed torturing her little godson.

Amidst all the death and destruction that haunted her each and every second of every day, Lacy and Harry always managed to remind her that there was always good to be found somewhere. Always a silver lining. Because, even with death looming over all their heads like a shadow that wouldn't go away, life was so abundant and vivid around them all. And Lacy and Harry and Neville seemed to both be evidence that life always went on, that giving up in the tiniest of ways would be destruction itself.

She often spend the precious hours most used for sleep to dream about the future. She lay awake almost every night, her cheek pressed against Sirius's chest, the thuds of his beating heart a blessing within itself, her daughter lying in her crib next to her father. And she dreamed of giving Lacy and Harry a new little companion to play with. She dreamed of watching an 11-year-old Lacy, as bright and mischievous as her parents, boarding the Hogwarts Express, becoming the best at every subject, making her mom and dad proud.

Looking at Sirius, laughing at something Aberforth was telling him, it wasn't that hard to see just how much Sirius loved being a father, and how much Lacy loved being around him. It seemed odd sometimes to see robust and rogue Sirius Black so gentle and patient with an infant of 21 months old. But he was Lacy's dad, and Julia herself was living proof that little girls adored their fathers.

Yet Harry was addicted to his handsome godfather too, launched himself out of whoever's arms he was in when Sirius walked into the room, crying "pah-foo" at the top of his lungs. And Julia was sure the love Sirius had for Harry quadrupled when his own daughter, with his own gray-blue eyes and brilliant smile, staring up at him and crying out "dadda" in loud, happy squeals.

"That's just wrong!" James said loudly as the little group of himself, Sirius and Remus burst out laughing at whatever Aberforth Dumbledore was saying.

"That's brilliant!" Sirius said through gales of laughter, Lacy looking at him curiously.

Katherine Nosreme, a new member of the female extension of the Marauders, was regarding them with a cocked eyebrow, "do we want to know?" she asked.

Remus looked at his new girlfriend and dissolved into another fit of laughter, shaking his head "no". "Unless you want to throw up," Sirius added, holding his stomach, chuckling as he watched James's entire face turn red.

"Goats?" Julia asked, almost afraid of the answers, knowing Aberforth Dumbledore's unusual love for the animal. But her question succeeded only in making Sirius burst out laughing again in that wonderful, bark sounding sound of joy. She cautiously walked towards him and took Lacy, afraid she would be dropped by her distracted father.

"I fear my brother is a bad influence on your men, ladies," Dumbledore said, watching his brother over his half-moon spectacles.

Watching the guys with a frown, Lily concluded, "I think they're a bad influence on him, sir," she said and Julia couldn't deny the fact that the Marauder's could corrupt anyone.

Giving them a gentle, amused smile, Dumbledore stood up from his stool, "well, I must be on my way back to Hogwarts. I will see you all at the next Order meeting," he said, giving them all a smile then walking into the living room to Floo back to Hogwarts.

"Stay safe Julia," McGonagall said, hugging Julia fiercely and kissing Lacy on her blonde head.

"You too auntie," she said and smiled.

She turned to Sirius when she heard his chuckle, "the poor woman's still in a state of shock that soon, I'll be her relative, officially."

"And she's thanking her God that its not by blood, I'm sure," Kingsley said with a smile.

Aberforth and the Longbottoms decided to go next along with Elphias Doge and Shacklebolt. "You guys want to go back to our place?" Lily asked as the three men came to stand beside their three women. Predictably, Lacy nearly threw himself into Sirius's awaiting arms. And Lacy wasn't disappointed when Sirius carried his daughter comfortably as he talked with his friends

"Watch a couple of horror flicks, perhaps?" Kat smiled.

"Ooo, the one with that chick who's head spins around," James said excitedly, "I've always loved that movie."

"How 'bout a nice werewolf one?" Julia asked, watching Remus's face with an amused expression as she lay her head against Kat's shoulder, getting a direct view of James's face. And her heart ached for her friend. The pressure and strain he and Lily were under, having gone into hiding a few weeks ago, was killing him. Oh, he laughed and joked around like he always did, but there was strain to his every smile and joke. He looked weary and old, like a man of 28 who was going onto the 80.

"I don't know kids, I'm pretty exhausted," Sirius said, not sounding exhausted at all, his eyes stuck on Remus, who was pointedly not looking at him.

"But it's Halloween," James whined, and Julia knew that it was just something he was doing out of habit, to keep everything as normal as possible, to ignore the fact that was ripping him apart. That fact being that Sirius and Remus hadn't said a word to each other for nearly six months. And it seemed, only they knew what the deathly row had been about.

"I side with Julia on this one," Lily said, watching Harry yawn in James's arms.

"It aint over till the little people yawns, I suppose," Sirius smiled, watching Lacy's little mouth expand in a huge yawn, then he turned his attention back to Remus, and in a cold, un-Sirius like voice said, "you mind giving us some space, Lupin? I need to discuss something with the Potters," he said.

Julia felt like throwing up at the look of pure hatred on Remus's face as he looked back at his friend of 17 years. But whatever their fight had been out, it seemed that no amount of super-glue could put the broken pieces back together. "Sure," Remus said coldly, pushing himself away from the counter and looked at Kat, "let's get home," he said and without another word, Dissaparated with a _pop_.

"Good night," Kat said in a strained voice and she went with a _pop _too.

Sirius walked around the kitchen, cursing like hell as he did, then stopped directly in front of Julia, his jaw tightly clenched as he looked at her, "mind if I come home a little after you?"  
Julia stood up, uneasy but obliging as she took Lacy into her arms, anything to keep the Potters safe, "sure," she said, giving Lily a hug and letting James kiss her on the cheek, "I'll see you guys…later, I guess," she sighed, rubbing the back of Lacy's back and Dissaparated home.

She hated the fact that to keep James and Lily safe, she wasn't trusted, and Sirius's life was put in danger. She hated the fact that he and Remus were fighting so passionately, distrusting each other so wrongly. She hated that she couldn't trust anybody in this war. And she loathed the fact that her future was so freaking hazy.

In an attempt to relax all her aching muscles after Lacy fell asleep, she went into the shower, turning on the water to a scalding degree and got under, turning her neck this way and that as the water pressure kneaded out knots of pressure from her muscles.

She was brushing her rudely red, short hair when Sirius finally arrived home, looking harassed and not in any mood to be asked if he was ok. So she just gave him a smile in the mirror and continued to brush her hair. "I've been thinking of going shorter," she told him, still watching him change through the mirror.

He cocked an eyebrow at her, "but you look perfect with that length already," he said almost indignantly.

Julia beamed at him, agreeing that her jaw-length hair did her bold bone structure justice. But she could've cared less about her hair, or how short it was or how outrageous. All she cared about was how Sirius threw himself back on their bed, lying spread eagle on his back with nothing but his boxers on.

Standing up, she walked over to him and silently climbed the bed and straddled his hips, their heat mingling with the warmth of her own body. "Still want that massage?" she asked, bending down to kiss his incredible lips.

"Just the kiss," he murmured, his fingers digging into the flesh of her thighs, the little sparks of pain delicious, sending down buzzes of pleasure down her spine, the taste of his tongue rasping against hers goading a moan out of her throat.

And the world was no more as he flipped them so that she was on bottom, and he kept on kissing her, rubbing his thighs into hers, seeking the warmth and comfort no one else could offer him. And when heaven had been reached and passed, every star and moon touched and explored, as they lay panting next to each other on the bed, the last word they spoke to each other was a simple "I love you".

Julia woke up early the next morning, finding herself still draped over Sirius's naked, sleeping body. Blinking at the alarm clock by the bed, she frowned because it was only 3:30 in the morning. The clock was not due to come to life and dance around the room until 6.

Finding herself comfortable and content and couldn't hear Lacy carying, she didn't know why she'd woken up and her senses flared. The years of Auror training and tactics prickling.

Something must've woken her up. She ruled out a bad dream because she'd been dreaming of Lacy and Sirius. Discomfort couldn't have woken her up because nothing felt as comfortable as being draped across Sirius Black's body.

Then there it was, "Sirius? Julia!"

She nearly toppled off the bed when she recognized Dumbledore's voice coming from the living room, the fireplace, no doubt. Making sure Sirius was fully awake, she grabbed her bath towel and ran, tripping and stubbing her toes a few times, to the living room to see Dumbledore's floating head in the crate.

And dread, like five pounds of lead, dropped into her stomach as she looked into the Headmaster's bleak eyes. "What's happened?" she whispered, not seeing but feeling Sirius coming to stand behind her.

Dumbledore sighed, and in a quiet, sorrowful voice told them, "James and Lily Potter were attacked, earlier this night," he said, looking up at the two.

"What?" Sirius hissed as Julia collapsed onto the sofa, praying to whatever God that had been looking out for her to please, please let James and Lily and Harry be ok. Please.

"It seems Voldemort found out where they were hiding," Dumbledore sighed again, "I'm sorry, neither Lily nor James survived."

Her world blackened that second as she heard a small _pop_.

_Dead_.

James…_dead_.

Lily…_dead_.

Oh God.

And Sirius…_SIRIUS _was the reason!

But no…that wasn't possible…Sirius would never have in any way, shape or form done anything to hurt the Potters in any way! Impossible! Sirius would never have become a Death Eater…that was just wrong…he was too loyal to his friends, hated his family's dark roots…He was the white sheep of the Black family…

But he was their Secret Keeper. Only through him could someone have found access to the Potters…

But it couldn't be…no…not Sirius…

God please, not Sirius, not James, not Lily!

Let it have been me instead…not them…please….please God make this be a dream….let this be a nightmare…let me wake up sleeping next to Sirius…

_Please_.

Julia woke up what seemed seconds later, but knew it was probably at least a few hours after she'd passed out. And when she remembered why she'd passed away, she began to hyperventilate, gasping for air, tears dribbling down the side of her face and onto her neck.

Terror washed through her with hatred and revenge and bone deep aching, pain of loss, as if someone had cut her heart out and was viciously stabbing it in front of her.

Healers rushed through the room as alarms sounded, but she didn't hear them, didn't see them as she prayed helplessly, hoping that James and Lily and Sirius were waiting outside and would rush and see her, telling her she'd just collapsed for no reason. Then Sirius would bend down and kiss her, telling her he'd kick her ass for having worried him so much. And Lily would scold her for not taking care of herself and James, dear James, would smile and tease her like he always did.

And even as she wove this scenario in her head, she knew that Dumbledore's announcement had not been a dream, that this terror was too real for her taste.

"Julia, you must stay calm or you'll kill yourself!" she heard her aunts stern voice command.

She turned her head to look at her aunt Minerva sitting on the chair beside her bed, holding her hand. And the sadness in those dear old eyes confirmed Julia's worst nightmares. "So…so James and Lily are…"

Feeling that her niece couldn't finish her sentence, Minerva nodded solemnly, squeezing Julia's hand when she started weeping from the pain of it, "and Harry?" Julia asked, once she could open her mouth and speak without sobbing.

"Miraculously, he survived the night, walking away with nothing but a scar," Minerva told her niece and when Julia asked for details, she only got, "the only thing I know is that something about that boy stopped Voldemort. You must ask Albus about the details Julia, I do not know."

Digesting this bit of news, Julia nodded, grateful that at least Harry was alive and Voldemrot was no more. But. Damn. "Sirius?"  
McGonagall's eyes filled with a sort of anger Julia had never seen inhabit her aunts eyes, "Azkaban for the murder of the Potters, 13 Muggles and Peter-" Julia whimpered- "and also, on the charges of Death Eater. And Lacy is safe with the house elves of Hogwarts."

Saying she was numb didn't come close to describing how she felt. But she wanted to cry so hard yet her tears has stopped, like she couldn't cry at all, couldn't feel her body, her mind, anything.

_Sirius _was the reason James and Lily weren't alive.

_Sirius _had lied to them all.

_Sirius_.

God. All the things he'd told her, about how much he loved her and would never leave her or Lacy, about how he wanted the war to end and raise their daughter, for the Order to succeed, had been a lie.

He had sold his own best friend, the man he swore was his _brother_, to Voldemort!

She was grateful that she passed out again.

Five days later, clad in black with an aching heart, clutching Remus's arm like it was her only lifeline, she was walking up the little cliff of Godric's Hollow cemetery, full of legendary witches and wizards, including Dumbledore's family and more legendary families.

She wanted to go far away from this place, run away as far as possible and pretend this wasn't real, that this wasn't happening.

But reality was that James and Lily were dead because Sirius, their Secret Keeper, had betrayed them to the Death Eaters. Reality was Sirius was in the highest security wards in Azkaban. Reality was that Kat and Peter were murdered that same night. Reality was that Harry would have to go and live with his aunt Petunia because Dumbledore thought he was safer there then with his godmother. She'd put a good fight in his Hogwarts study, yelling and crying, wanting to take care of her godson, but reality had been that Harry was safe with blood relatives. Horrible reality was that Lacy would grow up without Sirius, the Sirius Julia had loved, as her forever present and forever over-protective father. And reality was the fact that she'd been pregnant, but lost the baby the night James and Lily died.

Reality was this, standing beside a pale, sickened Remus, who was clinging onto her as tight as she was clinging on him, looking down at the two coffins sitting side by side. She could Lacy's little whimpers behind her, the sadness of the day having penetrated her infant mind in Aunt Minnie's arms. Tears silently fell as people gave eulogies, talking about how wonderful James and Lily were. Dumbledore was the first to speak, then Shackelbolt got up to speak about incredible a person James had been, then Hestia stood to speak of Lily's beauty, inside and out.

Neither Remus nor Julia could get out a coherent word, too distraught, too betrayed and heartbroken to speak. So she just stood beside Remus while people spoke superficial things about her two best friends, two of the greatest people she'd ever met. And she pressed her face into Remus's chest as the two coffins were lowered into the ground, sobbing into his chest as he cried on her shoulder.

The war was over but they were never this miserable. Voldemort was gone, the Death Eaters defeated temporarily, yet she was miserable, her heart in pieces, her life destroyed, everything she believed to be true gone like a puff of smoke she could never catch again.

She was the first to walk away from the gathering, unconsciously strolling towards James and Lily's house like she had always done, hands in her pocket, her brain buzzing with thousands of thoughts, thousands of regret.

She was just numb when she saw the rubble the house had been reduced to. The beautiful little house, perfect for a young family, perfect for the family Lily and James would have become, only because Sirius had been a lie. A fake…Lies.

"McGonagall took Lacy with her," Remus said quietly. Julia smiled slightly when he hugged her from behind, pulling her against his chest, "we'll be alright Julia," he told her softly, "we'll be ok."

"It just hurts so much Remus," she sighed, leaning against his chest. He felt like the only solid thing in her life and she loved him so much right now.

"I know," he sighed, looking at the house like he couldn't look away.

"They died for the greater good I guess," she sighed, squeezing the arm Remus had wrapped around her torso, "I mean…if Lily hadn't…hadn't done what she'd done, then Harry wouldn't have survived either and Voldemort would still be around…"

She felt Remus nod against her shoulder, "we have that, at least, to be thankful for."

"Yeah," she sighed, turned in his arms and hugged her last remaining friend, her last remaining truth, "we have to move on Remus."

"We do," he said quietly, "and we'll be fine. We'll hurt, we'll ask why almost none stop…but we'll make it," he said quietly, "and if you ever need anything, any help or babysitting with Lacy, Jules, I'm here for you."

She pulled back and kissed his cheek, "I know Remus, I know. But now I have to go back to the Ministry, Mad-Eye needs me to give him an oral report of an investigation I did a few days ago."

He smiled, "alright," he nodded and let her go, "dinner tonight at my place?"  
She smiled into his eyes, it may have been a strained smile, dull compared to the ones she was used to giving before Halloween, but it was a smile she actually meant, "I'll bring the movie. But if I get home too late, eat without me, k?"

With a last smile at Remus, she Dissaparated into the alley behind the Ministry of Magic where she always Apparated. She walked to the entrance of the Ministry, trying not to think about the fact that this was the first time ever that she was walking into the Ministry without Sirius and James following her or leading her, making stupid jokes and comments along the way, drawing looks from Muggle women who found both of them insanely attractive.

The DMLE offices had never been this cheerful, this optimistic since Julia could remember. Everyone was reaping the benefits of having Voldemort defeated, being able to finally move around without holding their breath, waiting someone to attack, kill and betray at the next turn.

But all eyes turned to her as she made her, like always, to the offices in the corner that the Aurors occupied, and where Mad-Eye Moody's office was located. Ignoring the looks she got, knowing she was a spectacle of the century, she knocked on Mad-Eye's door. "Come in Monroe," she heard his gruff voice call.

She opened the door to find Dumbledore sitting in one of the guest chairs facing Moody's desk. "Hello," she greeted both of the older men, then looked at Mad-Eye, "if it's a bad time sir, I'll come back later."

"I was actually about to leave Julia," he said, standing up and looking at her with sympathetic blue eye, and she didn't fail to notice that he was wearing the same robes he'd had on at the funeral as well.

When Dumbledore left the room, she looked at Mad-Eye, who's eyes seemed to be literally x-raying her. "Glad you could come by today Monroe."

"There's work to do, sir," she said quietly, "my friends being dead and gone won't stop people from being stupid."

"True," he nodded, "I have a request for you. I want you to stay far away from Black's case, as far away from it as you can because I don't need my best Auror to murder a prisoner."

"Of course, sir," she said, nodding, not able to look up into Moody's face, knowing that if she was ever to see Sirius Black's face ever again, she'd curse him into oblivion in a heartbeat.

After a short pause, he went on, "alright then, tell me what you found in Warwickshire."

* * *

Hey everyone! I've been working my ass off for this story, so I hope that you all love it. READ AND REVIEW! My life literally depends on ur every review! 


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 1 Ms. Monroe meets Mr. Chaos

July 25, '94

For the first time in the 20 years of being an Auror, Julia Monroe, also known as Head Auror Monroe these days, was late for work. And what a disastrous day to decide to be late for work too, but Lacy had made breakfast and insisted her mother eat before going to work. By the time she got up to her offices in the DMLE floor of the Ministry, everyone she had seen along the way was exhibiting anxiety and demanding she get right to the job.

This confused her, since she hadn't heard anything major happening from the time she had left her apartment in Cape Wrath, Scotland to arriving in the little alley she always Apparated into to get into the Ministry. And since none of the people who demanded her to get right down to doing her job told her what exactly she had to do, she was confused.

So seeing her Aurors running around like Hippogriffs with their heads cut off, her temper flared to a boiling degree, "SHACKELBOLT! What the hell is going on here?" she yelled the second she got off the lift.

Her tall, bald and black second in command ran towards her, looking as harassed as everyone else, "Thank God you're here!" he said, his eyes wild. She was sure if he had hair, it would've sticking up in every direction, he looked _that _shocked.

"What the fuck is going on here?" she asked, watching the terrified faces of the younger Aurors as the watched her.

"There's been an incident, a prisoner escape from Azkaban," he said.

"WHAT? WHEN?" she yelled, almost sure her own hair had done the 'struck by lightning' imitation. Since when did prisoners become able to escape from friggin' Azkaban?

"We just got words from the patrolling Aurors a few minutes ago, while you were getting here," he explained.

Her curses were so fowl that some of her Aurors even, no strangers to her sewer mouth, looked shocked. Kinsley's mild comment was, "I didn't know you had such an extensive vocabulary," he said as they walked between the cubicles to her office, Julia yelling orders to the younger Aurors to run messages, get files and names and contact the right people.

"You ain't seen nothing yet," she said, turning to look at him with menace in their eyes, "how did they find out? What happened?"

"After the Dementors did their run, the guards you set up in Azkaban were doing their routine checks in the cells around 6:23 AM. They were in ward D when Davies--that knew kid, remember him?--discovered that someone wasn't in their cell," he said, then paused as if this was toughest part of the story to tell her.

Her heart jumped in her throat. Shit. The D wing was also known as the maximum security cells of the prison for the worst of the lot, where murders and traitors were sent to… "Which cell, Kinsley?" she asked quietly, dreading the answer, hoping it was Bellatrix Lestrange or Rudolphus even.

"215," he whispered so quietly that she was afraid she must've misheard him, prayed she hadn't heard him right.

"215?" she asked, just to confirm her worst nightmare. And when he nodded, she proved to Kingsley that indeed her vocabulary of filth was more extensive then he had ever imagined, using words so fowl, it would make pirates and rappers cover their ears in shock.

Her mind was racing, fear and anger gripping her insides like a fist that would never loosen its damned grip. Memories rushed her mind, thoughts, feelings she'd kept tightly sealed in a jar for the last 12 years suddenly popped out, as if they had been waiting for the opportune moment for years.

But her Aurors and every Wizard and Witch in England was looking to her to be the cool and calm Head Auror she was famous for being. So she took a deep breath and it cleared her head immediately.

But when she tried to get her Aurors attention, no one listened to her. So she pointed her wand towards the ceiling and sent out a loud bang, "OI! When I say shut up and listen, you shut up and listen. I thought we'd established that years ago," she said looking at the startled face of her Aurors, "everybody just take a deep breath, then I'll be able to tell you what to do, and you'll be safe from being hexed by me today. Now, Sirius Black has been reported missing from his cell in Azkaban at 6:23 this morning. Shut up! I'm not done! I want all the junior Aurors to start patrolling all the Wizarding villages in England, start with the closest to the English shore then work your way around. Tonks, you lead them.

"Remember, this man doesn't have a wand unless he steals one, so Jimenez and McDonald, I want you to keep your ears pealed for reports of a missing wand," she told them, looking at the Aurors she was addressing in their eyes, moving on to her next order when they nodded, "I need three of you to go to Little Whinging, Surrey. Dom, you're in charge. Take two with you and watch 12 Privet drive under Invisibility Charms, you don't interact with anyone but if you see Black, you stun and ask questions later. Shacklebolt and Robespier, you two are coming with me to Azkaban," she smiled faintly when she heard their groans, "alright, let's go," she said, "and watch each other's asses."

Everyone split and now it was organized chaos, the team leaders she'd assigned were gathering their groups around them and large groups were disappearing. "Ready boys?" she asked, looking at the two Aurors she'd asked to accompany her.

They both nodded, not happy about their assignment in any single way, "Let's go," Shackelbolt said after a long sigh.

Julia immediately made a port-key using a stapler for Azkaban island. They were there two seconds later, standing in front of the massive fortress that was the most dreaded prison in the Magical world.

"Head Auror Monroe," Julia said loudly, standing a few feet away from Azkaban's entrance so that the Dementors heard her loud and clear, "grant access," she said firmly, trying hard to keep a good memory in her mind as the Dementor's powers floated towards them. The Dementors floated out of sight so that the three of them could go inside the prison.

Julia knew the thoughts of dread had nothing to do with the Dementors long lasting effects in the castle, but she couldn't back out because she was the Head Auror of the English Aurors. Her teams were famed around the Wizarding world, her name already as legendary as Mad-Eye's.

They arrived in ward D, the sounds of the prisoners following them, the ones that were sane cursing Julia to hell and back a thousand times. She heard all of them shouting obscenities to her, rightfully hating her for having thrown them all in jail. But she ignored them, like she always did and headed to D-215. And the iron was, 2/15 was the day their daughter was born…

She'd seen thousands of cells like this as an Auror, but the thought of her beloved Sirius living here for so many years made her knees weak. They buckled and she reached out to hold herself by placing a hand against the opposite wall, "Julia, you alright?" Kingsley asked, grabbing her elbow.

"Yeah, fine," she said, nodding, "I'm sorry, the Dementors, you know?" she said going further into the cell.

Dumbledore, predictably, contacted her later that day in her office. Her Aurors were reporting to her, team by team, telling her absolutely nothing helpful. They were as baffled as her about how he escaped and how he had erased all magical residue. But the thing that was making her even more antsy was how he got passed the Dementors. They were ordered to be ruthless to all prisoners and a bit decent to non-prisoners.

She had her face in her hands, trying to convince her mind not to conjure up images of Sirius or thoughts about how much she'd loved him and how much she'd hurt after what he'd done to them and their friends.

But she was over that now. She had moved on, not the same person she'd been, not the same girl who'd fallen madly in love with illustrious Sirius Black. She was the head of the Auror squads, one of the best the Ministry had assigned in years. She was a hardened warrior and woman living on the sea cost of Scotland. She was also a single mother to an amazing daughter.

She had changed a lot about herself since James and Lily's funeral. She had moved Lacy and herself from the apartment she and Sirius had inhabited in London to a little mansion on Scotland's most beautiful coast. She'd grown out her hair and it now hung down her back in deep auburn waves. She no longer fully trusted anyone except Lacy, Remus and her aunt Minerva and kept mostly to herself. Her once out going personality had disappeared and replaced by a self-protectiveness, a quiet intensity, a toughness her Aurors and daughter were totally horrified of. Her usually big grins that were so totally ready 12 years ago, were now a total rarity.

She hadn't just lost James and Lily and Kat and Peter and Harry 12 years ago, nor had she just lost the love of her life. She had lost the chance for a completely happy future with no bumps in the road.

But even with the bumps, she and Lacy were doing perfectly OK together, a completely family of three with Uncle Remmy, as Lacy referred to Remus, coming by almost every day. He was with Lacy now, helping her with her summer assignments as a way of distraction for both of them.

Julia had contacted her daughter when she'd had the opportunity, telling her everything that had happened and why she'd needed to stay later. Lacy, kneeling in front of the fireplace in their living room in Scotland, had looked at her calmly with her father's beautifully colored eyes, "Just be careful mom, ok?" she'd asked quietly.

"I will baby," Julia had assured her daughter, "try not make Remus lose too much of his remaining hair," she'd winked.

Lacy had grinned her father's mischievous grin, "I'll try not to," she said solemnly.

Julia had blown her a kiss before pulling out of the green flames and going back to work.

Earlier on, Julia had decided that Lacy would know everything about her father, about both her parents' past, and though Lacy had been hurt upon finding out that Sirius Black, the notorious murderer was her father, she had accepted it and made her peace with it.

Lacy was such a life-force, making everyone around her smile and live with her energy. She was 14 now, going to her 4th Year at Hogwarts with her god brother, Harry Potter, though he was unaware of that particular tie and a year younger. Lacy was the Keeper in the Quiddich team and somewhat of a trouble-maker as her dad had been. She'd befriended all of the Gryffindors and every single teacher, except Severus Snape, of course. And one of her friends was Harry Potter himself, also her Quiddich teammate.

Lacy and Harry only knew that they'd been diaper buddies before Halloween, but only Lacy knew how close they really were. God-siblings, as Lily always called them. And Julia could never get Harry's expression when, at the end of their First Year at Kings Cross, Lacy had silently handed him a picture of her and Harry together when they were babies, their mothers fussing over them in the background. Harry had looked startled and looked around and found Julia, who was standing quite a distance away, watching the two of them. He'd smiled James's smile and she'd smiled back, and that had been that.

But no bond between mother and daughter had ever been as strong or tight as the ones a single mother and her daughter developed. Lacy always seemed to be taking care of Julia, making sure her mom had gotten enough sleep or eaten a good breakfast and lunch. And Julia adored the time she spent with her daughter, adored everything about her daughter: her strength, resilience and patience.

"You seem shaken Julia, as it is expected," Dumbledore said, looking calm and collected over his half-moon glasses as he entered her office, wearing bright blue robes with gold stars and moons on it.

"Shaken? If I seem shaken…then I'd hate to see your definition of aghast or disgusted, sir," she said, leaning back in her chair to look up at him.

"I hope, Julia, that you are bright enough not to be placing blame for this incident upon yourself," he said.

She sighed, looking at her favorite professor, though he had never been her teacher at Hogwarts, "I don't sir. My Aurors did everything like they always do, they didn't break routine or skip procedure. And Black obviously used Dark magic to get out because no amount of Light magic can get passed the Dementors. That is, without a wand."

"What is being done?" he asked.

She didn't hesitate telling him everything she'd told her Aurors to do, always eager to hear any input either Dumbledore or Mad-Eye had. He seemed satisfied with the security measure she was taking, the patrols she'd assigned all the Aurors and was looking into every nook and cranny that Sirius might have disappeared into.

"And sir," she said, hesitant now, "I may not be sure how he got out of Azkaban and past all those Dementors then managed to disappear completely, but I am sure of one thing, he's going after Harry. I will not let Sirius Black anywhere near my godson, if it's the last thing I do," she said fiercely, ignoring the tears that had pooled in her eyes.

"Quite understandable Julia, I recall how fiercely you love your godson," he said quietly with a nod, "and I'm sure you are taking every possible measure to protect you daughter as well."

"So you will understand why I want to place Dementors at every entrance of Hogwarts," she said in one breath.

"Those are drastic steps," he said after a pause.

"This is a call for drastic measure sir," she said, "this is my daughter and godson's lives, and I'm not about to take any chances. I will do whatever I can to prevent anyone from getting to them," she told Dumbledore calmly, images of Harry and Lacy, from one day old to his 13-year-old self now, and her heart flooded with love for the two, her last remaining links with happiness and hope.

Of course, he didn't know she was his godmother, but she had kept her eyes on him, learning of his adventures through Dumbledore and her aunt, and of course, Lacy. She'd watched him playing Quiddich with Lacy, laughed at how much he looked and acted like James, how his beautiful eyes were as luminous and sweet as his mothers. And she admired the strength she lacked, the strength to smile through all the loss and heartbreak, how he managed to be so bright despite everything.

So Sirius reaching them, harming them was something she would rather die then see. Even though she'd never interacted with Harry, even though he didn't know she was his godmother, she loved him as though he was her own son, loved him almost as much as she loved Lacy.

And she was sure that Sirius was going after Harry, if not Lacy, because Harry was the reason why he was without a master now. "I'm actually going to come and patrol the grounds when I have time, and Remus will be around all the time since you appointed him DADA teacher."

"These measures of protection you are taking Julia, are totally understandable, but I can't help but feel a little hurt that you do not trust that I can keep Harry and Lacy safe from Sirius Black," Dumbledore said calmly.

Julia sighed, "I just don't want to take any chances, sir," she said quietly, "please understand how scared I am."

"I do," he said, then after a few minutes of thinking he spoke again, "alright, I will allow your Dementors, on terms that they do not enter school grounds. But Julia, I recommend you approach Harry and tell him how closely you are related for his own safety."

She cursed silently, then nodded her agreement, "Alright sir," she nodded

With a nod, he stood up and looked at her, "I will see you the first of September then, Julia," he said and left.

Wanting nothing more then to go home and crawl into bed and pass out, she packed up all her files, gave a few last-minute orders to her Aurors and Apparated outside her front door.

The house was huge, and once belonged to the aristocratic family of Rose before the family went bankrupt. The house was beautiful and comfortable, overlooking the ocean and hidden from the cruel world beyond.

Walking in through the front door, she could hear Lacy and Remus talking somewhere to her right, "Remus? Lacy?" she called, shedding her robes and hanging them in the huge coat closet by the door.

"In the den!" Lacy called and Julia smiled, nothing like the sound of her daughter's voice to make all the days aches and pains go away. Walking into the den, she saw heavy books strewn across the coffee table with Remus and Lacy sitting side by side, heads together, working on whatever assignment Lacy had trouble with.

"Hey you two," Julia smiled, going down the five steps into the room.

Lacy looked up, her blue-gray eyes lighting up as she grinned at her mom, "hey ma," she smiled, accepting the kiss Julia gave her.

"What's new?" Remus asked.

"Ah, I see there aren't chunks of hair missing Remus, the day must've been a success," Julia grinned, sitting next to her daughter who immediately wrapped her arms around her waist, putting her head in the curve of Julia's shoulder.

"I'm not that bad!" Lacy protested.

"You wanna bet?" Remus grinned at him, and Lacy threw a pillow at her uncle.

"Any news from Black?" Lacy asked quietly after a few minutes of tense silence.

"No," Julia answered honestly, knowing that this was the time that the honesty she'd shown Lacy was most important, "but we're working on it."

"Any ideas on how he escaped?" Remus asked quietly.

Julia shook her head, then stood up again, "I want to strengthen and put up new wards around the house, so you two stay put," she said and walked outside and began speaking powerful enchantments to keep her daughter safe from her own damned irresponsible and bastard of a father.

* * *

AN: REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

_March 5__th_

_Gryffindor Tower._

Lacy was lounging in one of the best chairs in the Common Room, her legs up and resting on the arm rest, reading the chapter McGonagall had assigned them to read. It was all about Animagis and how they worked and stuff, it was pretty fascinating. And she was trying her best not to get distracted by her friends crazy antics.

Fred and George were planning knew prank supplies they could use on the world, and Amber, Lacy's closest female friend, was watching them with a cocked and disapproving eyebrow. "Have you ever considered," Amber asked, ducking as Fred's spell backfired and missed her head by a margin, "how brilliant you two could become if you actually put your brains into something other then getting into trouble?"

"They'd make thousands making defensive shields for people," Lacy commented, watching the twins.

Though they were a year older then her, she and the Weasley twins had been friends since they'd been infants and went to the same Magical pre-school together. The two and Amber were her two closest companions and she loved the three of them with all her heart and trusted them as much too.

Yet, even though Fred and George could never be told apart with a single glace, Lacy had found herself slowly but surely, falling in love with George. There was something about him that made her stomach drop and her heart flutter every time he looked at her or talked to her. And these feelings were dangerous, especially if she were foolish enough to want to act on her feelings for him.

Out of the corner of her eyes she saw the clock and jumped, cursing like a pirate, "I'm late!" she said, quickly gathering her books and throwing them on the table, she'd go back for them later, "I'm gonna go see how Hagrid is," at their confused looks she said, "Buckbeak's execution was today and I promised I'd go see him!"

She didn't hear their "see ya's" as she dashed out of the tower and towards the grounds where her heart stopped. "Harry? Shit, HARRY!! HERMIONE!" cursing, running and grabbing her wand out of her jeans pocket, she ran to where they where, stopping short as their two heads disappeared under the bark of the Whomping Willow.

What the hell were they doing and where the fuck were they going? And wherever it was, it couldn't be anywhere good. Instinct her mother had told her to ignore until she became an Auror took over and, after 15 minutes of being tossed about by the psychotic branches, she managed to go down the hole at the bottom of the tree where her god brother had disappeared.

Lighting the tip of her wand, she began to make her way cautiously up the tunnel, her heart stopping as she heard yelps and shouts. And her heart came to a complete stop when she realized she was standing in the shrieking shack. There was a yell above her and she dashed up the stairs more quickly, going into a torn up, depressing as hell room where she saw Ron Weasley lying on a rickety, dusty old bed with a bloody leg and Hermione and Harry standing in front of him in a defensive position.

"You damn idiots! The hell are you doing out of bed?" she yelled but when they didn't speak, she turned and looked in the direction they were staring at and gasped. "You've got to be shitting me…"she muttered, seeing the gaunt, hallow figure of the man standing in the darkest corner of the room.

Her father.

"EXPELLERIAMUS!" they both yelled at the same time, the spells so powerful that it sent both of them flying across the room.

Julia felt like throwing up as she came up into the room, seeing her daughter hit the opposite wall with a sickening crack by her own friggin' father. "You piece of…" she forgot about wands and magic and her ability to perform defensive and offensive spells. She just went up to the man she had loved for so long and so passionately and her fist connected with a crack against his jaw, "you touch her again, you die, you hear Black?" she yelled, and before Sirius could respond, she punched him again and blood spewed down his nose.

"She's my daughter too Julia," he said in a hoarse voice she would have never mistaken with the baritone of the Sirius she'd fallen for so long ago.

"Don't make me laugh," Julia spat and punched him again, "you want to get them, you'll have to get through me first."

"Don't make me hurt you Jules," he said quietly, ducking another punch, always a fast learner.

"Too fucking late," she said and she ran to tackle him but he moved slightly and grabbed her around her waist and through her to the ground, holding her down with his body. Julia was breathing like she'd just run five miles in a second, but she was still trying to squirm out from beneath him, trying to somehow kick him away so she could punch him again, because that had felt so friggin' good after so many years.

"You could never hurt me Jules," he said softly.

She had no choice but to stare up at him, and despite all the anger and hatred she was feeling right at this minute, she wanted to weep at how different he looked. His face, once so beautiful and heart stopping, could've been mistaken for a skeleton. His eyes were sunken low in their sockets, dead, hollow, and his hair was dirty and down to his elbow. He could've easily been mistaken for someone else entirely, he had changed so much in Azkaban.

And he deserved it, "get off me Black," she said quietly.

"Not until you hear me out," he looked away from her for the first time since he'd tackled her to the ground, "all of you," he said, looking at the four kids standing behind them.

She started squirming beneath him again. He didn't weigh that much, but thanks the black belt he had gotten when he was 22, he had her strategically placed beneath him so that she couldn't do anything using any part of her body. He had trapped, like he had been for 12 years.

"YOU MURDERER! GET OFF OF HER!!" Harry yelled from somewhere behind him and she saw him run and tackle Sirius to the ground. Julia quickly scrambled and got the first wand that came close to her reach. She was about to stupefy him when her wand flew out of her hand.

"REMUS? WHAT THE FUCK?!" Julia asked enraged, seeing both her and Harry's wand fly into his hands as he stood calmly in the door frame.

"Julia," he began to plead but she didn't hear him. All she could see was red everywhere. She just wanted to get her hands on Sirius and punch the shit out of him until she felt like she'd been paid back for every single day she'd had to spend without him.

"Remus, give me my wand," she said quietly, standing up, wiping away blood from her lip, "don't fuck around."

"Julia, there's something you need to hear," he said in that quiet, reasonable tone he used when he knew everyone around him wanted to explode.

"There is absolutely nothing I want to hear Remus. Stun first, ask questions later, remember? So GIVE ME BACK MY WAND!" she yelled, feeling deranged and extremely exhausted.

"So you switched without telling any of us?" Remus asked Sirius, who nodded.

"Remmy, what are you doing? STUN HIM!" Lacy said from behind Julia.

"Listen…" he began again but Julia had launched herself up and was about to tackle Black down by surprise, anything to protect her daughter and godson, but she was sent flying across the room by none other then Remus Lupin himself.

"MOM!" Lacy cried, running towards Julia and helping her stand up by grabbing her elbow, "what are you doing Remus?"  
"You've been helping into the castle, haven't you?" Hermoine Granger demanded, "I…I trusted you! He's a werewolf! That's why he's been missing classes."

Remus's eyes focused on Hermoine, "how long have you known?"  
"Since professor Snape set the essay," she said quietly and slightly fearful.

"Well, he'll be impressed. That's why he set the essay in the first place, see if anyone could figure out what I was," Remus said as though everything was normal and Julia's temper boiled, looking from Black to Remus as though she would throw up.

"What the hell is going on Remus? I can't understand why you're not just stunning him!" she yelled, limping but putting her daughter and the rest behind her, meaning what she'd said to Sirius. They'd have to go through an angry mother before they got Lacy and Harry and the two others.

"I confiscated the map from Harry today, and I was looking at it when I saw something…extraordinary," he said in a hushed voice, looking back in forth from Sirius to Julia, his eyes finally resting on Julia, "if I'm right, then they switched Keepers at the last minute, and Wormtail has been alive ever since."

"What?" Julia breathed, hearing but not comprehending what Remus had just said.

"He never died Julia, he's right there," Remus said pointing towards Ron.

Julia gasped audibly when she saw what Ron was holding. A mangy, sick looking rat that was trying to squirm away, that looked so familiar with that white strip running down its back, "…that's not possible…"

"Not probable Jules, but very much possible," Sirius said quietly.

"But…you must've…you switched that night…without telling…YOU SHITHEAD!" she yelled, turning to Sirius again, and before anyone could do anything to stop her, she punched him again, "YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME!"

"It would've been to dangerous Julia," he said, his voice soft and sweet as he rubbed his jaw that was quickly turning colors. And suddenly, she was 15 years younger and in his arms as he whispered sweet words in her ear with that same voice.

She felt like puking as her entire world started to slowly crash around her. Everything she'd believed had been…a lie…everything felt a lie, a betrayal of some degree, of some pain. "What's going?" Harry demanded from behind her.

"You should've told me Sirius," Julia said quietly as tears began trickling down her cheeks, "all this pain, all this shit we've all been going through could've been prevented if you'd just trusted me."

"No no," he said quickly, "do not make this about trust…well, in your case it wasn't. I was afraid that this spy Dumbledore had told us about found out that you knew who the Secret Keeper was, they'd come after you and…and Lacy. I didn't want that to happen…And I killed James and Lily."

"God damn you Sirius! And you didn't tell Remus because you thought he…ooo I could fuck you up so bad right now Sirius!!" she yelled.

Her heart stopped beating as his eyes softened and life suddenly flooded into them, "you just called me Sirius."

She faltered, her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. Hatred suddenly fell from her body and all that was left was love.

After all these years, after all he'd done to her, after everything she'd been through because of him…she still loved the bastard with all her heart. It was a fact she would never admit nor ever acknowledge. But now, staring at him, hearing his voice, recognizing him under the grime and hoarseness, she couldn't deny she still loved him, couldn't deny that a part of her loved the fact that Lacy looked so much like him. Because every time she saw Lacy, and every time Lacy did anything, she was reminded of Sirius and she would never admit, in a million years, that she took comfort from the fact that Lacy was so like her father.

"Mom? Please, what's going on?" Lacy asked quietly from behind her, a slight tremble in her usually strong and confident voice.

"Explain to them everything before Harry kills you," she advised quietly and went to the furthest corner of the bed and sat down, putting her head in her hands and listened with half an ear as Sirius and Remus, mostly the latter, explained everything. The kids were told about Remus being a werewolf and how James, Sirius and Peter had become illegal Animagi just to keep Remus company on the full moons. Snape was mentioned somewhere around there, and why he hated Sirius and James so much. And everything was explained up to the night of Halloween.

"I as good as killed them Harry," Sirius croaked, "if I hadn't come up with the brilliant plan…if I hadn't been so cocky and full of myself," he chuckled then, "you know, the day before Halloween, Jules begged me to be more careful on the battlefield, begged me to be aware of my own mortality…"

She knew he was looking at her, but didn't have enough energy to look up and meet his gaze. Because if she did, one of two things was going to happen: she would explode, or she would punch him again. Both options didn't bring back the 12 years of misery that could've been prevented.

She barely heard them talking about evidence until Remus said her name, "we need your help getting Peter out."

"Alright," she said, standing up and taking her wand from Sirius without looking at him or thanking him. Remus went over to Ron, who was yelling something about the lot of them being mental, and got the rat, setting it on the ground as the three fired curses at him that would make him reveal himself. It took them some time of chasing the little rat, but finally Sirius managed to get him and suddenly Peter was standing in front of them.

"Oh Jesus," Julia said, turning her back on the grimy, rat-like man she'd once called a friend, "this is not happening," she said over and over again, yet she could still hear Sirius and Remus speaking with him, accusing him, and Peter denying everything.

"I understand everything now, except one thing," Lacy said in a quivering voice, having come to stand next to Julia by the bed and wound her arm through her mothers as though she were the last solid thing in the world, "how did you escape Azkaban without Voldemort's magic?"  
Julia finally looked up at that, wanting to know that answer as well, "thank you Lacy! Thank you dear girl! Without Dark Magic, you could've never escaped Azkaban!"

"Actually," Sirius said, looking at his daughter as though he would never be able to look away from her face, taking in every feature of her face and committing it to memory, "I don't actually know how I did…I mean, I remained sane because I knew I was innocent, that I hadn't killed my best friends, so that wasn't a happy thought and the Dementor's couldn't take it away from me," his gaze shifted to Julia with the ghost of Sirius inside his eyes, "actually Julia, I don't know why you couldn't figure out how I escaped, because you knew I was an Animagus."

"I assumed you were a Death Eater Sirius, because Dementor's have a tendency of sucking out magic too, so I thought you had lost your abilities to turn into Padfoot," she sighed, rubbing her face roughly with both her hands, "that's why I never mentioned it to anyone, I thought it was useless information."

A side of his lips lifted as though he were smiling, "remember what Moody always told us? No information is useless information?"

"How did you know where he was though?" Remus asked, keeping a firm grip on the squirming rat.

"Fudge was inspecting the prison and I asked him if I could have the prophet. There was a picture of the Weasley family, and Peter was on this boy's shoulder. The paper said the boy would go back to Hogwarts, where Harry was and I couldn't…" he fell silent and shook his head.

"So you meant…Pettigrew when you were saying 'he's at Hogwarts'?" Lacy asked quietly.

Julia was staring at Peter. She'd found it hard to believe that Sirius, who'd been so adamant about defeating Voldemort and being the white sheep in the Black family, could have become a Death Eater and betrayed his friends. But Peter, who pissed his pants at the mere mention of Death Eaters or any Slytherin, could have gone to the Dark side and given them information against the man who'd been the reason he had any friends… "How could you give away James to Voldemort, Peter? JAMES! You remember him don't you? He helped you with every friggin' aspect of life and was the only reason people knew you _existed_. How could you betray _James _like that?"

Peter turned his beady little eyes to Julia, they were wild with fright, knowing that the three adults in the room, and probably two of the teenagers, would kill him in a heartbeat, slowly and painfully, if given a chance. "The Dark Lord, you have no idea the weapons he possesses!" he turned to Sirius, desperate, "ask yourself Sirius, what would you have done? What would you have done?"

"I would've died," Sirius spat, "I would've _died _rather then betray my friends! Any of them, including you, you piece of shit."

"I didn't have any choices Remus!" he squealed, completely horrified now, grasping any straw he could, "I didn't know what else to do! He threatened to kill you all!"

"You could've come to one of us! You could've gone to Dumbledore! Anything would've been a better choice Peter!" Remus yelled.

"It would've been more honorable if you'd died yourself," Julia said darkly, "it would've been welcome," she said, looking at him and knowing that hatred was shinning brightly in her eyes as her mind began putting the pieces of the puzzle together. The constant absences, the stupid excuses, the withdrawal and his sudden love for long sleeved shirts, even in the summer…God, they'd all been stupid, blind because they saw Peter as nothing, as weak and powerless.

"You should've known Peter, that if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would," Sirius said, raising his wand, looking from Julia to Remus, who also raised their wand and pointed it at Peter, "together," Sirius said quietly and turned to look at Peter again.

"NO!" Harry yelled, throwing his body in front of Peter's, "don't kill him"

Peter turned and fell on his knees, "bless you boy! Bless you! You're father would've been so proud of you sweet, kind boy!"

"GET OFF HIM!" Sirius roared, dragging Peter back by the scruff of his neck.

"Harry, this…this man is the reason why," Remus began but Harry cut him off.

"I know what he is," he looked up, looking directly at Sirius, "we'll take him to the castle," he looked down at Peter, who was actually shaking in fear, "then the Dementors can have you."

Peter whimpered and the side of Sirius's mouth lifted in a smile but he tried to hide it, "good idea," he said and ropes shot out of the end of Julia's body, binding Peter.

With Peter secured and her faith in Remus slightly restored, Julia turned to the shocked out teenagers standing behind them, "you guys ok?" she asked, looking at each of them in turn, from Ron's white face to Hermoine's anxious one to Lacy and Harry's completely horrified expression.

Lacy numbly nodded n answer, tears shinning in her brilliant blue-gray eyes, "I think so," she said and gulped.

"Harry?" Julia asked, knowing that the shock to his system would've been greater then all of theirs. He'd been ready to kill Sirius and would have if Remus hadn't taken his wand.

He blinked slowly, having been staring solely at Peter, and turned his green eyes to her, "I'm fine," he said quietly.

"Right then, let's get back to the castle, people will be wondering where you are," she said, walking towards Ron and putting bandages on his bleeding leg, "that should do for now. I don't know that many healing spells so," she smiled.

"Sorry 'bout the bite," Sirius said earnestly, coming to stand behind Julia, "reckon that twinges a bit."

Ron's face became more shocked, "a bit?! You almost tore my blood leg off!"

Sirius had the audacity to look sheepish, "I always had better disposition as a dog," he said.

"Amen," Julia muttered darkly.

Soon, he and Harry were supporting Ron as they headed down the tunnel back into Hogwarts. Remus was leading the group with Peter in front of them, then Harry, Ron and Sirius with the three girls in the back. Lacy was clinging to Julia as though life depended on her grip on her mother, and Julia couldn't blame the girl really.

"Head Auror?" Hermoine asked quietly, "what will happen now?"

"I'll have to get a few Aurors down here, and Fudge," Julia told her, knowing that Sirius, though talking to Harry and Ron, was listening, and Lacy probably needed to hear this, "we'll administer Veritasirum and take it from there. If the story yields truth, then Black's name will be cleared and Peter sent to Azkaban or Kissed."

Apparently the tunnel had echoing effects, because from in front of them, Peter whimpered like a lamb being taken to slaughter…Make that a goat being taken to where it should've been long ago.

"Then what?" Lacy asked anxiously.

Julia knew what Lacy meant and sighed, squeezing her daughters shoulders, "no idea baby," she sighed, looking at the back of Sirius's head, herself wondering what would happen now, "I have no idea," she sighed.

"SNAPE! NO!" they all heard Remus yell when Sirius, Harry and Ron had resurfaced with the three girls still in the tunnel, waiting for clearance to climb up.

Cursing, Julia jumped out of the tunnel, coming up to see that Snape was holding his wand pointed at Sirius's chest, "Snape, put down your wand," she said in a controlled voice.

"So you have been helping your old flame back into the castle," he sneered, "how romantic. He killed your best friends and here you are, delivering their one and only son into his hands."

"Open your eyes Snape," she said impatiently, pointing at Peter who was absolutely shaking, "recognize him?"  
But Julia never saw Snape's reaction to Peter, and she never heard how Remus summarized everything to Snape, who had lowered his wand. She never saw those things because her eyes were only for her daughter and her father. Sirius had gone over and had helped first Hermoine out of the tunnel. Now he extended his hand to Lacy.

She looked at it questioningly, wondering the merits of taking the hand he offered. After a few minutes of deliberation, she took his hand and he pulled her up, though she climbed up on her own without leaning on his hand too much. Julia felt her heart skip beats and her stomach drop low in her stomach as the twos eyes met. Father and daughter. Together again after 12 years of unwanted and unnecessary exile from each other.

But Lacy didn't jump in his arms and cry and call him daddy, Julia had never expected that of her. Instead, Lacy did what her mother knew she would have done, just stared at her father, not knowing what to say, both speechless for the first time in their lives. Father and daughter. Once so close and so loving, now total strangers.

"You've grown so much since I last saw you," Sirius said with a small smile, making him look like the ghost of the old Sirius.

"12 years can do that to ya," Lacy said quietly, extracting her hand from his grip and going to sit next to Ron, asking how his leg was.

Sirius turned to Julia, having felt her watching the exchange, "it's gonna take a while before she gets used to me."

Julia laughed her outrage, "I wouldn't blame her if she never got used to you," Julia answered, then turned to Snape and Remus, "let's get back to the castle, and soon."

Sirius turned his attention to Harry, "that was a noble thing you did back there Harry," he told his godson quietly, keeping the distance between them, aware that he wasn't trusted enough yet for close contact, "but he doesn't deserve it."

"I don't think my dad would've wanted his three best friends to become killers," Harry said, looking into Sirius's eyes, meeting his gaze like nobody else could, "beside, dead, the truth dies with him. Alive, you're free," he turned to Julia, "right Head Auror?"

She couldn't help but laugh, "you'll make a top notch Auror someday kiddo," she grinned, and he smiled back at her.

"By the way, Lupin, you've forgotten to take your potion tonight," Snape said rather casually as they started walking to the castle.

Julia stopped in her tracks and looked at Remus, who was startled himself, "oh shit," Julia breathed as everyone else stopped to.

"Snape, get the kids into the castle, and fast," Remus said, not taking his gaze away from Julia's terrified eyes.

"What's going on?" Harry demanded.

"It's a full moon," Hermoine squeaked.

"Julia, get everyone into the castle, I'll look after Remus," he said, switching with Hermoine so that she was supporting Ron.

"No, there's no use if you're not in the castle. The Dementors are roaming around, they catch a whiff of you, you're screwed," she said, not aware she was using her Head Auror voice, as Lacy called it, "get into the castle and get Dumbledore, I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Mom, why are you staying?" Lacy demanded after everyone had agreed to the plan, there was worry in her voice, "I mean, no offense Remmy, but you've done this alone before."

"She's right Julia," Remus said quietly, one eye on the setting sun, "go back to the castle, I'll be fine."

"I'm going with you and that's it," she said with finality in her voice, "go into the shack, _now_," she said and turned back to Lacy, dismissing Remus, who walked back under the willow and disappeared down the tunnel again, defeated with his proverbial tail between his legs. "I'll be ok, I've done this before," she assured her daughter, wrapping her up in her arms, "don't worry ok? I'll see you in the morning."

"I want to stay with you," Lacy said quietly, with a desperation that reminded her of a 5-year-old Lacy who'd just had a nightmare.

"I know, but Remus needs someone to keep him from ripping himself apart. Go back to the castle and I'll see at sunrise. Deal?" when Lacy nodded, Julia kissed her daughter's temple, hearing the first of Remus's howls from the shack, "I love you," she told her daughter.

"BE CAREFUL!" Lacy yelled as Hermoine dragged her back to the castle.

"Don't get yourself bitten," Sirius said with a tiny smile.

She was tempted flip him the bird but instead turned and again went into the Shrieking Shack, changing into her Animagus form and going up the steps to find a gray werewolf sitting in the bedroom they'd been in before.

The wolf raised his head when he saw the big, black and orange stripped tiger walk into the room. The tiger raised its eyebrow at the werewolf, who started growling and pounced on the big, honey eyed cat.

_This is gonna be a long night,_ Julia thought as she led Moony out into the night, playing with him and keeping him from crossing the borders of the Black Forest. She managed to get him exhausted enough to sleep on the bed in the Shack, and Julia slept on the floor on her stomach, her head on her paws in front of her.


	4. Chapter 4

-1Ch. 4

She woke up with Remus's howls as he turned back into human. "You alright?" she asked him quietly, when he had turned back into human Remus, naked, bleeding and panting from the change back from one physiology to another.

"Yeah," he said, looking at her with bewildered eyes, "the wolf felt like he knew that Padfoot was back, he was excited."

"I saw," Julia smiled quietly, throwing a torn blanket at him, "I don't need to see you naked Remmy," she smiled, standing up and going to stand next to him, grabbing his elbow, helping walk.

"Can you believe this is happening?" he asked quietly, when they were halfway to the slowly awakening castle, "the whole deal with Sirius and Peter?"

"It's incredible," she sighed, wrapping her arm tighter around Remus' waist so that he was supporting her walk as well. She laid her head on his shoulder, "never in a million years…"

"Yeah," he said with a bitter laugh, "and to think, if the kids hadn't snuck out tonight, and if you and I hadn't gotten to the shack…Sirius could've been Kissed at some point."

"Yeah," she said with a shudder.

"By the way, how did you get here? What are you doing here?" Remus asked, as though the question had just struck him.

"I was coming up from Hagrid's Hut to speak to Dumbledore when I saw Lacy going down into the tunnel in the willow," she answered, "I knew nothing good could come of it so I followed."

"And what happened to the Hippogriff?" Remus asked.

"I managed to stop the execution on time, I had Emelia Bones backing me up so we overrode the decision for execution on the terms that the Hipporiff will never be used for lessons again," she told him, "goddamned Malfoy. He'd threatened every governor on the education board into voting for the execution."

They were both lost in their thoughts as they made their way up to the Hospital wing, where they were told everyone was being held, all having been thrashed by the Willow or thrown against a wall.

Julia ran a hand through her hair as she and Remus climbed up the stairs. She'd never been this confused in her entire life. She didn't know what was going to happen next. What would happen to Sirius, to Peter, to her and her precious daughter and godson? How would things work now?

Hating that she didn't know the answers, she pushed open the hospital wing door with a push that was unnecessary but effective. Fudge and Dumbledore were standing there with Shackelbolt, looking like the latter was a referee in a boxing ring with the two older men. Sirius was standing next to a window, his back to the room as he looked down into the ground, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Harry was sitting on one bed next to Lacy, both with bandaids and bandages on various parts of their bodies. The two were quietly talking with Ron, who was lying down with his leg bandaged and Hermoine was sitting next to him.

"Head Auror!" Fudge said with too much enthusiasm in his voice, being the first to spot her and Remus going into the wing. Madame Pomfrey came and immediately began attending to Remus, helping him into a bed, puling the curtain to shield her working on him from their view.

She wished Pomfrey could whisk away like that too when every eye in the room turned in her direction, "Minister," she said politely nodding to him, "I hope you all have been informed of the recent events?" she asked, walking to the group of Ministry high-fliers.

"We have indeed, Julia," Dumbledore nodded.

Shackelbolt looked at her with a cocked eyebrow, "who would've thought?"

She sighed, not caring whether the question had been rhetorical or not, choosing not to answer it either way. "Pettigrew is in custody?"

"He's being guarded by two of our Aurors," her second told her.

"And they know about the rat thing?"

"Told them to stun any rodent they see," he said with a smile.

She laughed at that, turning her attention to Fudge, who was steadily turning a tomato red in front of her eyes, "Assuming you have questioned both Black and Pettigrew with veritasirum you have cleared Black of all charges?"  
Fudge turned a nervous gaze to Sirius, who was still by the window but his attention was on them now, "Black will be compensated by the ministry for all the wrongdoings."

Her temper instantly flared, "you throw an innocent man in jail for 12 years under the watchful eyes of the Dementors, without questioning him or giving a trail, and you are simply going to 'compensate for wrongdoings'?"

"What else can we do Head Auror?" Fudge asked, his voice becoming high pitched, "I realize that with you and Black's history, you expect him to be given certain special treatments, but compensation is all we can give."

"Minister, after the world gets their _Prophet_ today, I'm hoping they call for your resignation!" she said with a laugh, "how dare you bring my ties with Black into this when you know very well that it has never hindered my performance as an Head Auror!"

From the bed, Lacy watched her mother go head to head with the Minister of Magic, who was trying to put justice to her father's senseless arrest by bringing in the fact that he was an illegal Animagus, but Julia shot down the idea by pointing out that the time for illegal Animagis was only 1 year in Azkaban.

She knew her father was standing only a feet away from her, and though Ron and Hermoine were quite comfortable with him around, she and Harry were nervous now. Both had, in one night, gotten a part of their family back and they didn't know what to do. She realized, of course, that Harry was more shocked and had every right to be in that state. Lacy had only gotten back the father she was never really effected by, but Harry stood to gaining back a huge part of his parents's family and had an opportunity of being a part of a family again. He had gotten back, in mere hours, his godparents and god-sister.

Lacy stiffened somewhat when the beds weight shifted and she saw that he had come to sit behind her and Harry, who were sitting tailor style on the bed. She still couldn't believe the shock and horror that had crossed her estranged father's wasted face when Pomfrey had told Lacy that her spinal cord had been jolted badly during the night. And Lacy, being extremely perceptive, knew that her father had realized that her spines injuries were a result of the disarming spell they'd used against each other at the same time. And even though Pomfrey had assured Lacy that there was no permanent damage, Sirius had been terrified and apologizing profusely.

She still didn't know how to feel about having her father back. She wanted to hate him with all her body and soul for what he'd put her mother and uncle through, for the unintentional hand he'd in the murder of the Potters, but the little fatherly gestures he showed to her made her heart thump. And just looking out of him from the corner of her eye and the knowledge that her father was sitting next to her, alive, whole and innocent of the heinous crimes he'd been accused of, made that massive missing piece in her soul slowly start to refill.

Looking into his gaunt face, so different from the handsome, smiling one she was used to seeing in pictures, Lacy could pick herself out from his features: the bone structure, gray eyes, broad smile and the carbon-copy lips…And those common traits plus the hair she'd inherited from Julia, she could see the intertwining of two sets of genes…

"She's as aggressive as Moody," the object of her thoughts commented in his hoarse voice that had once, no doubt, been deep and rough as gravel.

"Lots of people say that," Lacy heard herself answer.

"Who's Moody?" Harry asked Lacy.

"He's mom's predecessor as Head Auror," she informed Harry, watching as Shackelbolt began whispering something in her mother's ear, which caught Julia's interest quickly and a smile Lacy had learned to be cautious of appeared on her mother's lips. It was the smile that suggested something was going to jump out at Lacy when she opened her closet or the shower curtains that day. "He also trained mom, and is completely mental," Lacy laughed, "the first time I met him, I must've been about 4 or 5, and he started telling me to not put my wand in the back pocket of my jeans when I grew up because it would blow my butt off and started yelling at me about constant vigilance."

"You've met Mad-Eye Moody?" Ron asked, and his eyes bugged when she nodded, "wicked! I've always wanted to see him in person.

"Mad-Eye?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

But before Lacy could explain to him what the nickname was for, Fudge yelled in outrage, "How dare you Monroe!"

"Amelia Bones and Alastor Moody appointed me Head Auror with your consent, and you have told me time and again how much you admired my administration of justice all around. You allowing Crouch to not give Black a fair trial and chance is obstruction of justice minister," Julia answered with a calm, professional voice that made her perfect for her job title, "and according to decree 234 the Wizengamot passed in 1878, your turning a blind eye when a prisoner was never questioned or given a fair trial, you are held in contempt."

"This is outrageous!" he yelled.

"She is within her right, Cornelius," Dumbledore said calmly.

"Now, what kind of Head Auror would I be if I let a criminal go free?" Julia asked with a grin, turning to Shacklebolt, who seemed to have been struck by lightning, and said, "please, escort Mr. Fudge to holding cells of the DMLE and inform Madame Bones."

"Yes ma'am," he said quietly, then, as if he couldn't believe what he was about to do, turned to Fudge and said, "you are under arrest. Anything you say will and can be used against you during trial. With or without consent, you will be given Veritasirum and charged accordingly."

Fudge was still sputtering about the outrageousness of the situation as Kingsley escorted, rather, dragged him out of the hospital wing to Apparation point only the Aurors knew on Hogwarts ground. "Ms. Monroe, you're my hero," Ron said, in an awed voice.

She turned and grinned at him as Dumbledore added, "as you are mine Julia," he gave a little bow, "not even I have managed to make Cornelius Fudge speechless."

"My pleasure sir," Julia smiled, "the bastard deserves it. He had it coming for 12 years," she said, her gaze catching Sirius's, "the second he appointed Crouch into the DMLE, he knew this day would come."

"Thanks Jules," Sirius said quietly.

She mustered a smile for him, "he is partially to blame for all this mess. Just think, if he had done something when Crouch threw you into Azkaban…"

"We'd still be a family," Sirius finished in a hoarse whisper.

"Yeah," she gulped, then turned to Dumbledore.

"God Julia," Sirius began, rising immediately to his feet.

"Don't," she said sharply, turning to Dumbledore and asking, "what happens now?"  
"Whatever you wish," he said with a smile, "but in my opinion, until the world gets used to the idea of Sirius Black being innocent, I think it a good idea for him to remain with you and Lacy until the world is settled."

She gulped and stared at him with a cocked eyebrow, "seriously?" she asked blankly.

"Yes," Dumbledore said, turning to Sirius and Lacy, "will these terms be acceptable to you?"

Lacy just nodded and Sirius gulped, not meeting Julia's eyes, "I could stay with Remus too, until I get my feet firmly planted on the ground," Sirius suggested quietly.

"I'd be glad to Sirius," Remus said from the other side of the ward, "but I can barely support myself mate."

Julia cursed viciously, and thanked God only Dumbledore had heard, and he only chuckled at hearing her fowl language, "alright, that's fine," she said through her teeth, not missing the few seconds of outrage that crossed her daughter's features.

"Sir," Sirius said quietly, "what about Harry?"

Harry sat up straighter at the mention of his name, looking behind him at Sirius with a curious expression. "What about him Sirius?"  
"You explained to me that Jules didn't get custody of him because of the blood protection or whatever you wanna call it. But with both Jules and I…I think we can handle protecting Harry Potter," he said with a tiny smile.

Harry's breath caught at the thought of moving in with his godparents and Julia didn't have it in her to start showing them the holes in the plan. So Dumbledore did it for her, "but Sirius, if your arrangement with Julia was permanent, I would allow you to take Harry in a heartbeat. But your arrangement is, most likely, temporary."

Seeing the crushed looks on both godfather and godson, Julia decided to step up to the plate, "what about Harry coming with us for the summer, he doesn't even have to go back to Petunia and Vernon's. When the arrangement, as you call it, is over or whatever, then can we look more deeply into Harry coming to live with one of us? Well, Sirius more likely, but you get the idea."

Dumbledore thought for a moment and Julia tried to help his decision making by pointing out the fact that she had set powerful wards around the house, wards Dumbledore himself had helped secure. "I think your idea will work fine Julia," he said at last and there were exclamations from everyone in the room except Julia, who only smiled. Then the Headmaster turned his attention to Harry, "I will write your current guardians and inform of your new living arrangement, however temporary. At the end of term, you will be able to go to Ms. Monroe's house for the summer."

Harry turned his emerald green eyes to her, "are you sure I won't be any trouble?"  
"Oh Harry," she scolded, "how could you think you'd be any kind of trouble?"

He smiled slightly, rubbing the back of his neck in an sheepish gesture he'd inherited from his father, "we have a wicked open area where we can fly," Lacy grinned, turning her eyes to Julia she asked, "and maybe the twins and Ron could come by and fly with us?"

"Of course! We'll have entire Quiddich games," Julia said with a grin that she meant, with a grin she knew she hadn't smiled for 12 years.

The weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders, and she could breath, sigh with relief at last.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5

After hugging and kissing both her daughter and godson, and after Sirius had been given a chance to shower, shave and become clean again, and with final instructions to the Aurors that were holding Pettigrew, Sirius and Julia made their way back down to Hogsmead. And since Shackelbolt had sent one of the junior Auror's with Sirius's possessions, they could Apparate to Cape Wrath.

"Ready?" she asked when they crossed from Hogwarts ground to Hogsmead.

"Haven't Apparated in 12 years but yeah, sure, let's go," he said with sigh, closing his eyes, concentration and he was gone with a pop. Julia, hoping he hadn't been splinched, followed suite.

She found him standing in front her door, waiting for her, looking around the beautiful, rocky coast of Scotland. He smiled that ghost of his original smile, "we've come to Cape Wrath before Jules, remember?" he asked, running a hand through his hair, jumping slightly when his fingers actually went through then remembered that his hair had been cut and his beard shaved. He looked almost half-human again.

She smiled as she opened the front door, "it was with Lily and James, after they got back from their honeymoon."

"Right," he said, following her awkwardly into the house, not sure about what to do or say, or if this was a good idea because he was only seconds away from grabbing her, pulling her against his body and smothering her mouth in one of their nuclear kisses.

But she didn't seem as if she would like that idea very much and would probably punch him out of reflex. And man, the woman could punch. Despite the salve Pomfrey had used, his jaw still hurt from the blows he'd received in the shack. She had never been afraid of physical combat, and sometimes seemed to prefer it over wands.

It seemed that was one of three traits this 36 year old Julia in common with the 24-year-old he'd left behind. She was so different from the care-free, happy girl he had fallen so deeply in love. But who was he to blame her for having changed so much? After all, a single mother who happened to be Head Auror would've changed anyone. And what with the horrors she'd had to endure, the exile she had endured away from him…if it had hurt her to be away from as much as it had hurt him, even half that pain would've caused anyone to go insane, to lose all hope.

He hadn't known 12 years, 13 this Halloween, that Dante had opened up the gates of hell with the greeting "lose faith, all ye who enter" the second he'd switched Keepers with Pettigrew. Sometimes he still thought that the terror of that night had been a dream, a nightmare he would never be able to get over. The thought of having lost James and Lily to death so violently in such a short span of time, then to succinctly have his child, fiancé and godson ripped away from him with the same violence, had his head reeling still. And he was the one who had time, unwanted time though it was, to have a chance to soak it up, to make his piece with the fact that James and Lily were forever gone.

Julia had to move on with her life quickly, raising their daughter. She probably always pretended that she was ok with everything that was happening, that she was strong enough to endure the fact that he, Sirius, had lied to her and betrayed their friend. And Sirius knew he couldn't possibly imagine how it felt to have everything she had believed to be proven false in the course of a few hours. But she was recovering nicely it seemed.

"I guess I should say welcome home or something," she said, leading him to the right of the elegant entrance hall into a massive kitchen.

_I've missed you so much Julia. I am so, so sorry that I've missed the 12 years of you and Lacy's lives. I admit, I was an idiot, the biggest jackass in the world for not telling you that very night that I had come up with a brilliant plan. Oh Jules, please forgive me my idiocy, accept that I had made a huge, human mistake, accept the fact that I'm here so you can take me in your arms and make the world a better place._ But all he said was, "then I guess I should say thanks".

She went to the black refrigerator, whose surface was covered with pictures and what looked to be notes and newspaper clippings. She got out two bottles of Butterbear, setting them down on the counter where four stools sat. As he took one of the middle two, he watched her rummage around the packed refrigerator, getting out various containers of what he knew to be food. "We have a room upstairs," she said, her head still in the fridge, "it's completely furnished, so you'll stay there and there's another empty room we can turn into Harry's."

"Cool," was all he managed to say as he had a mental battle with himself.

He had done terrible things to this woman, shaken up her entire world and set it off axis. He should be on his knees, begging her forgiveness, but no. he was sitting here, admiring how gorgeous her ass, which was poking out of the fridge, looked in her jeans, even after all these years and a daughter later.

Yet her body had changed in subtle and not so subtle ways. For example, gone was her short, uneven, flaming red bob and was replaced with waves of not quite red, not quite brown hair down to the middle of her back. She was still curvaceous, but her body had matured with time and it seemed to have become more voluptuous with age, more tempting. But the change that killed him the most was that her sky blue eyes seemed to have been dimmed.

He remembered the first time he had ever seen her. She'd been a nervous 1st year, waiting to be sorted, and he was 2nd Year at Hogwarts with a mile long rap sheet with McGonagall. He had been joking around with James, knowing that James's god-sister was among the 1st Years being sorted. Of course James, being so caught up in himself and trying to impress Lily, had forgotten to tell him which one was his god-sister. But Sirius had forgotten all about the god-sister when he saw a flash of light blue, sky blue in a cute face, framed by black hair.

Years later, as an adult, Sirius had realized that second had been when he'd fallen so hard for Julia Isabella Pierce-Monroe. She was the love of his life, his rock, his constant. Julia was the mother of his child, the very breath from his lungs and every beat of his heart.

And God. Lacy. His daughter. _His daughter!_ What a beautiful young lady she'd grown into? How brave and sweet, smart and fast like her mother. He had seen her in Hogsmead with her friends for the first time when he was disguised as Padfoot, looking for Pettigrew. He'd recognized her immediately, had no doubt in his mind that she was his little Lacy.

He hadn't been able to believe his mind, the principal of "out of state out of mind" had worked its magic on him. His mind, tortured within an inch of sanity by the Dementors, had kept Lacy an infant of 2 in his mind. He had struggled to comprehend that his little baby girl had grown to become a tall, funny, charming young woman, surrounded by friends and male admirers she didn't give the time of day to. And when he'd gone to watch the Quiddich game, he had been on the verge of tears of joy as he watched Harry and Lacy flying around the pitch, both spectacular players.

Of course, it was more than obvious that Lacy didn't really like him that much, but he was praying fervently to whatever god was out there that she could forgive him his stupidity. Forgive him so that he could become her father, so that he could go back into her life, be a part of her and Julia's lives.

Every time he blinked he saw himself, felt himself kissing Julia, telling her how much he loved her, how much he wished they could become a family again with Harry. But no, he was sitting on the damned stool and simply watched as she heated an array of food and set it on the counter.

"I eat at home more when Lacy's home," Julia told him now, getting plates and utensils, coming to stand in front of him on the opposite side of the counter.

"How come?" he asked, desperate for every morsel of information he could get about what the love of his life and daughter did from day to day.

Julia shrugged, sipping her Butterbear, "she likes to cook, so we have feasts when she's home. But when she's gone, I never have time to cook something decent."

Sirius gulped, "she sounds amazing Jules."

"She is," she said dreamily, her head cocked to one side.

"You still get that smile!" Sirius said excitedly.

"What smile?"

"You always got this soft, maternal, proud smile whenever anyone mentioned Lacy," he laughed, amazed, memorizing every millimeter of her face, "you still get it."

Her smile broadened, "she's never mention this smile of which you speak, but she says I have an Auror look that terrifies her."

"Yep, you've had that look since 11," he laughed.

It felt so incredible, so out of this world to be sitting with her, laughing with her that he nearly started to weep with the relief, the joy that swelled inside of him. And suddenly, both stopped, apparently she'd realized they had let go of the past for that singular second.

She looked so sad, like she was the most miserable, unhappy person in the entire world. She probably never really laughed, never really smiled that killer smile of hers. And a world was a terrible place without those killer smiles.

"Jules…I want to erase the last 12 years…I want them to disappear," he whispered, feeling tears spill down his cheeks and didn't have time to wipe them away, "I want you to love me again, to look at me like you did 12 years ago. I want to be a part of your life again. I feel like I haven't breathed for the past 12 years, and now, seeing you, hearing your voice…it's like I've been brought back from the dead but I'm not alive because you can't stand to look into my face!"

"Oh Sirius," she whispered, covering her face, forgetting about the plate she'd been picking at.

"Jules, forgive me. Please?" he wept openly now, rising and going to her, whether his knees buckled or he knelt down himself, he would never now. "I don't want you to hate me for a stupid mistake Julia. Please, stop hating me, please," he repeated over and over again, rocking back in forth, his face in his hands on the cold tiled floor of the kitchen, "I love you so much Julia," he whispered, his heart spilling out through his mouth as she fell in front of him, "and God, I miss you so much, _so much_. I went 12 years without your smiles, without your lips, your eyes, your love, don't make me spend another day without you…I'll die, I know it. Can we just go back to the way we were?"

"No," she answered tearfully.

He clutched his stomach as though he would throw up at her dejection, "so this is what its like to be skinned alive."

He felt her hand in his hair, "do you know what true hell is, Sirius?"

He looked up into her brimming eyes, "yes," he said hoarsely, watching as the tears clung to her thick, long eyelashes behind her red rimmed glasses, "trying to exist with your heart and soul living outside your body."

"No," she said again, this time with a tremulous smile, her hand sliding from his newly-cleaned and cut hair down to stroke his cheek, "it's knowing that you had so little faith in my love for you, trusted me so little, that you nearly condemned both of us to a lifetime of unnecessary agony," her face contorted and a sob escaped her control, "to something worse then death."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he wept.

"You said you've had to live without your heart…how would you like to lose your soul too? I've cursed every day that I've had to live without you…wishing that I had never met you, never have known your name."

He buried his face in his hands and wept as his heart shattered into tiny pieces right in front of him, his gut clenching so hard he thought it would come spilling out of his mouth and nose. "Shh," she whispered to him, putting her head over his, stroking his back, "I should be glad that your hurting so much, but my heart is breaking," she laughed through her tears, "you bastard," she said quietly into his hair, "you selfish, selfish son a bitch. I still love you," she said with so much sadness in her voice, "I shouldn't and I don't want to, but I do and I hate it!"

He pulled back suddenly, seeing a window of opportunity, "Julia-" he began eager but she cut him off, her eyes red with misery, "we can never go back to what we had Sirius," she said, "too much has happened to just…to just let go of the past simply to make the future easier."

"Dumbledore's theory of life," Sirius said bitterly, "choosing the true path rather then the easy path."

She nodded grimly, "think of our daughter Sirius," she told him, "think of everything that she's feeling right now. Think of what I'm going through right now…my head would explode for sure if we ignored the past."

"Then lets confront it and put it behind us Jules," he begged without shame.

She ran a forefinger down his cheek to his jaw, going down to his throat, making him shiver and her smile, "maybe with time I can trust you again, Lacy has to trust you. But slowly Sirius, we lived 12 years without you, you cant expect us to do more then that."

"What happens now?" he asked, gaining back some of his restraint.

"The kids will come home and we'll have a wonderful summer together. I don't know what Lacy will think about this, and I'll have to get her absolute confirmation about this, but maybe you can stay here permanently," but before he got the wrong idea she added, "only as her father Sirius. I'm not saying as my…lover or boyfriend or whatever. You'll stay here, with Harry, only as Lacy's father."

"I think that might work," he said quietly, nodding, scrubbing his face, drained from all the emotion that had discharged out of him.

"C'mon, eat and go and sleep. You look like you could use both," she said, standing up and offering him her hand and helping him stand up.

"Yeah, about five thousand pounds of food and a million hours of sleep," he muttered, looking at the enticing food. His appetite had appeared again with the "maybe" Julia had proposed. It was like she'd given him keys to the kingdom with those words.

She laughed, "both are available to you," she grinned.

"Before I shove my face," he said standing in front of her, looking down at her, "I have one thing I want to ask of you."

"Yes Sirius, I will go down to the store tomorrow and pick up a pair of yellow ducky boxers for you," she smiled.

"Thanks, wait, no. What?" he chuckled, loving her even more for her brave humor, "no, that's not it. I just want one kiss Jules, just one."

She sighed and he watched her battle internally. He knew which side had won when her eyes sparkled, that same sparkle of 15 years ago, and she nodded.

It felt like a lifetime had passed as he closed the distances between their bodies, wrapping one arm around her waist, bringing her flush to his body, reaching out to touch the side of her face with the other hand. He ached with the familiarity of the situation, his heart pounded as she wrapped her arms automatically around his shoulders, lifting her face for his kiss.

Eons passed as he lowered his lips to her and he was sure fireworks were exploding around them. But he was too busy schooling himself not to start weeping again at the aching familiarity of her lips, as his cried home and freedom.

Her rubbed his lips against hers, melting at the softness he so loved. Her lips were as tempting and as ripe as the first day he'd kissed them back in her 6th Year.

Even though she pulled back too soon and went away too quickly, leaving him to eat alone, for once in 12 years, the world was right again for Sirius Black and Julia Monroe.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch. 6

Julia was still reeling from everything that had happened in her kitchen. It had only been a few hours ago, but it felt like a lifetime, and had been extremely traumatizing to both parties involved.

She hoped Lacy would be ok with her idea about Sirius moving in with them permanently. She'd realized, eventually, that Sirius was Lacy's father and had every right to be just that. He had made a big mistake by not telling anyone that he had switched with Peter at the last minute. But he was human, after all, prone to mistakes like everyone else was and Lacy needed to realize that. But she was sure her daughter would see the light someday, realize that he was her father after all.

She was dozing, the glass of red wine in her hand nearly tipping over when the fireplace came to life with green flames and Kingsley's face shown through the flames, looking more panicked then he had the right to, "you better come to the Ministry now Monroe," he said, panting as though he'd ran to whichever fireplace he was using.

"What's going on?" she asked, sitting up.

"You won't believe this," he muttered, "Pettigrew escaped."

"WHAT?" she yelled, standing up so fast that she did spill the wine.

"I still don't know how it happened," he said gravelly, "but when we went into take him to Azkaban, he wasn't there."

"You mean he escaped from the DMLE cells?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Shackelbolt nodded.

"Fuck, alright, I'll be there in a second," she said and ran up the stairs without waiting for Kingsley's reply.

She threw on her Ministry robes over her t-shirt and jeans, making sure she had her wand and ran to the room Sirius had been assigned. She opened the door as gently as she could. Not allowing herself to stop and wonder at Sirius's sleeping form, trying not to register the fact that he still slept spread-eagle after all these years. "Sirius," she said, touching his shoulder, "Sirius," she said, more loud this time. He stirred and opened one eye with a grunt, "I'm sorry to wake you up, but something's come up and I need to get back the ministry. Just keep your wand by your side k? Call me via Petronus, k?" He gave an incoherent grunt and asked, with a thick, sleepy voice, "'thing I can do?"

She shook her head, "just be careful," she said and dashed out to her front door and Apparated to the alley by the Ministry entrance, running into the building in a fury. "WHAT FUCKING JACKASS LET A WANDLESS IDIOT ESCAPE?" she yelled when the grill doors opened to the DMLE floor. Every eye turned on her and every one of them was filled with fear, terror of the knowledge of the incoming storm. "Who was watching the cells?" she yelled, looking around at the people.

Two junior Aurors, who had just gotten into the squads last year, came forward. Her eyes bugged and her temper took another nosedive to the negatives when it came to her happiness. Juniors, so far downthe food chain, were never left alone to guard the cells of the DMLE. Senior staff were always supervising. It was one of her more strict policies that no junior would be left unsupervised under any circumstances, and every single Auror under her command knew that and always obeyed her rules.

So she was sure that there was some outside influence when it came to this disaster, outside the DMLE. "Who put you there?" she asked them.

"Undersecretary Umbridge," one of them answered

"Jesus Christ," she muttered, "and you listened to her? Did you not stop and consider on checking with either me or Kingsley or even Robespier! You should know better then to take order from some outside the DMLE!"

"We're sorry ma'am," they both muttered, both looking they were about to pee in their pants.

"What happened?" she asked them, knowing that soon, smoke would actually start coming out of her ears.

"We don't know ma'am," the same one answered, "he was very quiet and we turned our back to him for a second and he was just gone."

"Did anyone tell you that he was an Animagus?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am," they both answered.

"Were you told what kind of animal he turned into?"

"No ma'am."

"Did you think of asking?" she nearly bellowed.

"We assumed that if he did transform, we would notice an animal sitting in the cell," the braver of the two answered again.

"And you, in your infinite wisdom, didn't, just for a millisecond, think that he might turn into an undetectable, tiny animal and slip out without detection?" her voice got louder with every word she spoke, "LIKE A RAT?"

It was painfully clear from the expressions on their faces that they, indeed, had not considered the possibility of Peter turning into a rat. "Oh no," she said, "you SAW A RAT?" their silence was answer enough and unfortunate flower pots nearby exploded, the tip of her wand sending out violent red sparks. She pinched the bridge of her nose, counting to ten and trying not to raise her wand at them and kill them both. "You are Aurors. You have extensive training to be paranoid about every single thing you see! Didn't either of you think that a fucking rat in the Ministry of Magic is a bit suspicious," again they were silent, "get out of my sight before I kill both of you!"

They scurried out of the building, sliding past her like she was a dangerous tiger and got into the lifts behind her. Everyone was still staring at her, completely horrified of what her temper would do next, "someone get Umbridge!" she yelled.

"I have already requested Delores to come to my office, Head Auror," Madame Bones said quietly, "and I ask you to please join us."

She tried taking a deep breath, telling herself that it would be ok. It would all be ok. Everything was going to be fine. She just needed to breath and not commit murder any time soon and everything would be ok. "Of course Madame Bones," she nodded, trying to sound as cordial as she could to the head of the defense department.

Before following her however, she turned to her Aurors and found Kingsley, "warn Dumbledore, set up guards at my place, Hogwarts and 12 Privet. But make sure Hogwarts is completely secure and every single student follows curfew, understand?"

She didn't really wait for his reply but went into Bones's subtly feminine office. A lot of people had had their doubts about two women running the DMLE, but they had promptly shut up when arrest rates had increased when they both took office as heads of their departments.

Julia always felt slightly ashamed of her office when she entered Bones's office. While Julia's was just a desk, a comfortable chair with lots and lots of file cabinets and a few pictures of Lacy here and there, Bones's was spacious, comfortable and a place that was a heaven to work in. Walking into the office, you ,knew a woman worked here. But it wasn't as obvious as Umbridge's pink nightmare.

"Sit down, Julia," Bones said cordially, herself taking a seat behind her desk, "and start calling me Amelia, please."

"Ah, ok," she smiled, knowing that Bones had asked her about five thousand times to call her Amelia. And Julia would, for that conversation and forget it the next day. "Listen, I'm sorry about that blow out."

But Amelia put up her hand and stopped Julia's apology, "I completely understand where you're coming from. I would have had the same reaction had I been the Head Auror with a prisoner as important as Pettigrew in my custody, then lost him because someone undermined my authority," she paused and seemed to be studying Julia, "if I have failed to inform you of how proud I am of your work, how flattered I am when people compliment me on my Head Auror, then I am sorry. I should probably remind you every day what a wonderful job you are doing. You have proven every male wrong about your abilities as an Auror."

"Thank you," Julia breathed, completely speechless, never having expected such praises.

Amelia laughed, "let me be frank here Julia. I've been wanting to say this to you since I found out you threw Fudge into Azkaban for obstruction of justice…You have got balls of steel!" Madame Bones laughed, slapping the handsome cherry wood of her desk, looking at Julia with laughing eyes, "never in a million years did I think I would see this blessed day when Fudge was no longer Minister of Magic. I feel like I should thank on behalf of every single witch and wizard and even Muggle out there!"

Julia laughed at the compliment, the nuclear problem that had been dumped in her lap not ten minutes ago. "Just doing my job," she laughed, watching as the head of the DMLE dissolved into gales of laughter again.

There was a very polite, very Umbridge knock on the door, and Bones collected herself and called out in a measured, controlled voice, "come in Delores."

The tiny, odd-looking woman entered, looking more annoying in Julia's eyes then she had in all the years she'd dealt with the toad-like woman that was so often covered in pink. "Ah! Julia, my dear, how enchanting it is to see you!"

"Wish I could say the same," Julia muttered, her fowl mood returning again.

"Please sit," Amelia told her, and Umbridge did, very deliberately and perfectly, sitting on the very edge of the chair. Julia suddenly felt great pride in her Tom Boyishness, and crossed her legs, putting up her right ankle on her left knee in a very relaxed, authoritative manner usually reserved for males. Her mood became slightly less pitch black when she caught Umbridge's disapproving look out of the corner of her eye.

"Have you been informed of what has taken place?" Amelia asked as though they were questioning a prisoner in Azakaban.

"Oh yes, Pettigrew escaped custody again," Umbridge turned her toady face to Julia, giving her a pouting, sad expression, "I'm so sorry dear, better luck next time."

"Excuse me, Amelia," Julia apologized then turned to Umbridge, "I would be taking Pettigrew into custody had you not stuck your bloody nose into defense business. On what authority, on what grounds did you come into my office, into my jurisdiction in our government system, and begin giving orders against mine?"

"Oh, I wasn't aware of doing such a thing," Umbridge reached out a chubby hand and patted Julia's consolingly, "best not to blame other's for your shortcomings dear."

Julia was sure her face turned violent green as somewhere in the office, another piece of glass or pottery combusted, "I should throw you into Azkaban right now and order the Dementors to kiss you, you twit!"

"Julia," Bones said calmly, then, sure that Julia would not strangle Umbridge, turned her attention to the other woman, "you had absolutely not right to order Julia's junior Aurors to guard a first priority prisoner."

"I always thought the Aurors belonged to the Ministry and the populace, not Julia," Umbridge answered in that same, sweet as molasses tone.

Julia stood up, nearly knocking over her chair and began pacing the office, trying her best to calm down her mind and body, because it would be bad if she lost whatever control she had. Having always had a volatile and violent temper, she'd learned to grip it and convert it into another more useful emotion. But she had never been so angry in her life.

She knew everybody in the Ministry had doubted her abilities as both leader and Auror when she was appointed Head Auror. She had dealt with the criticism as she had done before, ignored them all and went about her business. And over the years, she'd proven herself powerful as Head and had become a legendary one, and her critics had started to whisper about her inefficiency instead of yelling them out in the open. But never, in the 10 years as Head Auror, had she ever had someone else come into her office and undermined her authority at such a crucial time!

"Umbridge, you've always hated me because I wear jeans and have not one single article of clothing that is pink in my entire wardrobe and I see the devil behind the pink! You have tried to put my best friend into a home and even killed because he's a werewolf, but thank there are a few sensible people in the Wizengomot to see the light you clearly don't see! If you did this because you hold a grudge against me, because I did my job and called Fudge out on his misgivings, then you are not fit for the office you hold," Julia said with as much composer as she could muster, "so, as head of a department in the Ministry of Magic, I will be the first to ask you for your resignation."

"And I will be second," Amelia said.

Julia smiled at her boss, "now, if you will excuse, I have a rat to catch," she said and nearly ran out of the room, tempted to smack Umbridge upside the head before doing so. Outside, she found all her Aurors behaving themselves, looking busy and avoiding all eye contact.

_Never a dull moment_, she thought as she started an all out manhunt for little Peter Pettigrew.


	7. Chapter 7

CH. 7

_Platform 9 3/4_

_King's Cross_

Despite the fact that Sirius was way too busy being nervous about the return of his daughter and godson, Julia was sure she was getting annoyed by the wizarding populace for both of them. Everyone was staring at them, and turning to their neighbors and whispering quite conspicuously.

But Sirius didn't notice any of the looks or whispers as every parent on the platform stared at Sirius Black, the only man who had wrongfully been sent to jail. He was too busy being nervous about seeing his daughter and godson again, nervous about what their summer together would be like.

He hadn't slept the past week, instead, lying awake every single night and imagining how it would be, praying that both of the teenagers would not shun him, and instead, see him the prodigal son, returned for a second chance. Yet even with the possibility that they both would hate his guts, Sirius couldn't wait for the Hogwarts Express to pull in with his two kids.

He briefly surveyed the people around him, spotting four Aurors standing guard quite easily in the crowd. They looked tough and impenetrable and everyone walked around them, as though afraid. And of course, with their head there, they were probably completely terrified.

Julia told him everything that went on at work, and he enjoyed hearing her talk candidly about throwing out photographers and people from the _Prophet _to scaring the crap out of the baby Aurors, as she called them. And it seemed that each night that she came home, more and more of the wall she'd built around herself crumbled and she became comfortable.

For the past month and a half, Sirius and Julia, after 12 years of miserable separation, had developed a daily routine together. In the morning, they would wake up and decided quickly on a large breakfast or a bowl of cereal. Then Julia would go to work and Sirius would lounge around the property or go through numerous photo albums, catching up on his daughter via albums. Then, at about 9 at night, Julia would come home and they'd quickly make something to eat. After that, Sirius's favorite part of the day began. She would sit on what he had concluded to be her favorite over-stuffed armchair with a glass of whiskey in her hand while he sat on the ground (his butt still wasn't used to comfortable seating) and she told him about her day. And when her day hadn't been that interesting, they would just talk.

She told him everything he wanted to know about his daughter, every single detail of which he committed to memory and cherished with all his body and soul. She told him everything he needed to know about herself as well, about what she had been going through since Halloween night, nearly 13 years ago. And in return, Sirius told her everything he felt, described in detail what had happened that night. And finally, after 12 years, he made peace with James's death.

All in all, they were making progress. And Sirius couldn't help but notice that Julia smile more now, spoke more like the old Julia who loved helping the Marauder's play pranks. "Sickle for your thoughts," she said now, nudging him with her elbow.

"Oh, just wallowing in my very own horror show," he said casually, stuffing his hands in his jeans pocket. One of the things he most loved about the past month and a half was that he was looking like his old self again, though he still needed to gain about 30 pounds for the Healers to call him completely healthy.

She smiled up at him, briefly squeezing his forearm, "they wont' be too bad," she assured him, "I promise."

"Do you remember me when I was 14? Or 13?" he asked, "I was a nightmare!"

"Well," she said thoughtfully, "they're not too bad…yet."

"Yet," he said with enough drama to get him an Oscar.

"By the way, have you noticed Mr. Malfoy and your dear cousin Cissy watching you?" she asked with the fakest smile in the entire world.

"Oui," he nodded, "and they can stare all they want. They're probably trying to find out how I escaped so they can help dear Bellatrix," he said bitterly.

"Thank you for that tip, I shall be putting extra guards in Azkaban tomorrow," she told him, rubbing the back of her neck, "ah, right on time," she smiled as the loud chugging of the Hogwarts Express was heard by all the awaiting parents.

Butterflies let themselves lose in Sirius stomach as the train pulled to a halt in front of them, anxious parents and siblings getting closer to the train to spot their children and take them home. The scene was so familiar to Sirius and Julia, both remembering their own receptions after a year at Hogwarts was fulfilled.

The doors opened and the kids filed out, finding and hugging their parents ferociously or, like all Slytherins, seemed to get only a cold smile and were immediately on their way out. When Julia saw the Weasley twins getting out, she knew to expect to see Lacy next. And she was disappointed, and Harry and the rest of their friends followed suite.

"LACY! OI! LACE!" Julia yelled, waving her hand high above the crowds in front of her. Lacy looked up, said something to Harry and the gang and they made their way through the crowds.

As always, Lacy literally jumped into her mother's awaiting arms, smothering her cheeks in kisses as Julia laughed in delight, holding her daughter tightly against her. "Bebe!" cried Julia through her laughter, "I can't breathe sweetie!" she laughed and finally, Lacy pulled back and smiled at her mom, her arm still wrapped around her neck.

"Did you miss me?" she asked, as she had the last 3 times in front of the Hogwarts Express.

"Of course not," Julia answered with a grin, kissing her daughter's cheek in turn.

Lacy moved aside so Julia could greet Harry. She hugged her godson, loving the grin that had taken over his entire face.

Sirius was standing next to them, smiling too, having already hugged his godson in welcome. "Hey," Lacy managed to give her father a smile, still not sure what to call Sirius, still unsure about how she felt about him. The semi-regular correspondence between them had eased some of the tension. But his letters started with "Hey Lacy" and hers started with a simple "hey". Sirius shared with her a part of himself, telling her as much as he could about what it had been like before the war and before Halloween, he spilled his guts into every letter, hoping that she would see him as her father again. And in turn, Lacy told him about every second she spent in Hogwarts, about Quiddich practices and complained to him about Snape. And with Snape, they had found a common ground, something they both detested and could discuss.

He knew her and she knew him now, and he prayed that all the knowledge he had given her, she would take him back and see him as her father again. She wanted his baby girl back.

"Welcome back," he smiled at his daughter, and Julia nearly started weeping when she saw Lacy tentatively, but broadly returned his smile.

"Good to be home," she grinned.

"C'mon, let's get home. I invited Remus for dinner, so let's go," Julia smiled, shooing them out towards the barrier between the platforms. Sirius and Lacy started to walk but Harry just stood there with an odd expression on his face. "What's wrong?" she asked, frowning.

He opened his mouth as if to speak a few times, then just shook his head and shrugged, resigning to just say, "this is too good to be true."

Her heart suddenly broke into pieces. The naughty little boy who managed to wreak havoc at the age of 1 should be wreaking havoc at age 13 too. Harry should've been a confident, smart trouble-maker, not shy and quiet, only getting into trouble because Voldemort was after him. He should be getting in trouble for the hell of it, like Lacy and her friends did! It was just pure tragedy that he wasn't everything he should have.

"Harry, let me tell you something," she said quietly but firmly, looking him straight in the eye, "your parents were two of my best friends. Your father and I were friends since we were baby's and, despite the fact that I was 3 years younger and we bickered constantly, I loved him like he was my own brother. And Lily, I've never been so close to another woman in my entire life. So when I tell you to come and live with us, you better listen because it's not a request nor an invitation. You aren't just arriving into our lives Harry, you're coming back into it. And we're welcoming you back with arms wide open."

Tears were swimming in the green depths of his eyes, but he managed to smile, "I see why your Aurors are so scared of you," he laughed.

"Thanks," she grinned, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and following the others, "in time, you'll learn, as Lacy has, to find subtle ways to avoid my Auror buttons."

He smiled at her as they passed through the barrier, holding on to each other, "Auror buttons?"

"Yep," she nodded as father and daughter stopped, waiting for her and Harry to catch up to them, "you know Harry? I think this is the recommencement of a beautiful relationship."

They were almost catching up to the cars, she was close enough to begin helping Sirius and Lacy lad the luggage into the back of the ministry car when he stopped. She looked down into Harry's green eyes and saw them brimming with tears, "can I ask you a…a favor?" he asked quietly and she got that he didn't want neither Lacy nor Sirius to hear. And although Lacy didn't, Julia could tell that Sirius was listening to them from the tension in his broad shoulders.

"Anything!" she told him, not letting go of his shoulders, wanting to press a kiss to his forehead but she didn't know how he would react, so she just listened.

"Could you tell me about my parents?" he asked quietly, looking down at his shoes as if he were ashamed, as if it were his fault that he didn't know who his beautiful mother was, what his incredible father had been like. Shit.

"I'll tell you all about them," Julia answered, and she did press her lips to his forehead, right over his legendary scar, "I'll let you see some of my memories if you want, anything sweetheart."

She nearly danced in joy when he turned to her and wrapped his arms around Julia and shuddered, pressing his face against her shoulder. Then he sighed after a while, a sigh of contentment and of being home. She switched her hold on Harry so she could draw Lacy against her too, hugging them both. She nearly wept when Sirius walked over to them, tears streaming down his cheeks, his grey eyes sad and miserable, haunted as he wrapped his skinny arms around the three of them. But what did make her cry was that Lacy didn't pull away from Sirius, because he was hugging her the most.

"Complete," Lacy whispered, "we're complete again," and to Julia's surprise and Sirius's horror, she turned away from Julia and wrapped her arms completely around her father's waist.

Sirius froze then the tears began falling in earnest, rolling down his cheeks as he squeezed her against him. He lowered his head to her ear and murmured to her, "we are complete again Lacy, and as long as it is within my power, as long as I live, I won't be away from you, I'll never leave you…" he told her, rocking them back in forth.

And as Julia held her godson against her, watching the reunion, she didn't see a man with haunted eyes and hollow cheeks hugging a tall girl of 15. She saw Sirius when he'd been 28, long hair pulled back in a ponytail, sans shirt, holding a baby against his shoulder, murmuring in her ear, all her attention focused on him, and then putting her to sleep.

Lacy pulled back and

looked at her father, laughter bubbling up, pure joy radiating from her smile, "why does this feel like déjà vu?" she asked.

"'Cause that's how you used to fall asleep," he told her, brushing back a strand of her hair and tucking it behind his daughter's ear.

"You used to fall asleep like that in Sirius's arms too Harry," Julia told him, looking down at him and it nearly ripped her to pieces…She shouldn't be standing here with his face pressed against her chest, his head tucked under her neck…It should've been Lily holding him…

"Really?" he asked pure delight dancing in his green eyes.

"Yeah, but you preferred James of course," Sirius told him, "he was the only one who could make you stop crying once you got started."

"You both were oddly attached to your dads," Julia laughed, pressing another kiss into Harry's messy hair, "it was incredible to watch two rogues become putty in the hands of their little babies."

They all chuckled, "we should get home," Julia murmured after a while, seeing the Malfoys getting closer and closer to them.

"Let's go," they all agreed and climbed into the back of the car.

Julia let her head fall back and sighed. She had a major portion of her family back but still she couldn't stop thinking about what should've been, what could've been had they all trusted each other…ah God she wished everything was normal…she hoped so hard for everything to be perfectly ok, not merely acceptable…

She wished James and Lily were sitting beside them in the back of the car, talking to Harry about what assignments he had for the coming school year. She wished Remus and Kat were here too, married, their children probably starting the First Year at Hogwarts. She and Sirius would be with Lacy, probably with two or three more of their children, all heading to her and Sirius's house for lunch and celebrating their children's homecoming.

She mentally shook her head, telling herself to just be grateful that they had this at least. A few months ago, she didn't have Sirius, she didn't have Harry nor was Lacy even home. She didn't have peace of mind, always sure that the love of her life, the man she was willing to go the ends of the earth for, had lied and murdered…She was again in love with a man who hadn't killed or betrayed anyone, had her godfather back and knew he was loved and appreciated, and Lacy was home for three months.

Julia looked down from the roof of the car to see Siruis's gray eyes focused on her, his eyes so mellow, she was sure he knew what she was thinking. He cocked his head to the side and sighed, and she knew what he was thinking too.

It was time for their reunion too.


End file.
